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View Full Version : Proof that Samuel L Jackson is God.

triforcemario
22-07-2006, 08:57 PM
http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/article/jackson%20voices%20god_1002655

Movie superstar SAMUEL L JACKSON will voice God in a new audio version of the Bible. The taped recording of the New Testament will feature many famous other black actors and musicians. Jackson was given the lead role because producers felt his deep, authorative voice was perfect for the role of God. A source tells British newspaper The Daily Telegraph, "Samuel's just finished recording a CD set of the New Testament. The recording is due to be released in September (06), with a box set of the Old Testament to follow next year (07). "Scores of other black actors, musicians and athletes will also figure, but Samuel was deemed to be the perfect person to play God."

I can already see it:

"And the Lord said unto Abraham, 'Good motherf*ckin' beer, motherf*cker!'" "F*CK, WHAT IS WITH ALL THESE GODDAMN ANIMALS, ON THIS MOTHERF*CKIN' BOAT" And God said: "Yo muthaf*ckas, where IS the muthaf*ckin' light? Come on, bitch, turn that sh*t ON!"

And there was light.
AshMat
22-07-2006, 09:06 PM
Which is the black guy from Bruce Almighty? i think his voice would be much better.
triforcemario
22-07-2006, 09:07 PM
Which is the black guy from Bruce Almighty? i think his voice would be much better.Morgan Freeman.
AshMat
22-07-2006, 09:09 PM
Yes! Morgan Freeman, he doesnt EXCELLENT voice overs.
Hellfire
22-07-2006, 09:38 PM
THERE ARE SNAKES ON THE MOTHERF***ING PLANE!
Supergrunch
22-07-2006, 09:53 PM
So is this conclusive proof that God is black? (and male...)
Zygo Ape
22-07-2006, 09:56 PM
Morgan freeman voiced over the new War of the worlds and he was excellent.

Personally i think Andy Serkis should take up the role:

My Prrrreeeeeeeeeccccccccccious
AshMat
22-07-2006, 10:03 PM
And Jesus healed that mutherf*cking blind son of a bitch.
rokhed00
22-07-2006, 11:19 PM
Should've been James Earl Jones.
KKOB
23-07-2006, 12:31 AM
"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

*cowers behing the 360*
gaggle64
23-07-2006, 09:53 AM
Is that a David Chapelle reference I spy at the top of this thread?
Ford Prefect
23-07-2006, 09:59 AM
Yes! Morgan Freeman, he doesnt EXCELLENT voice overs.



que?...........
triforcemario
23-07-2006, 11:43 AM
"We got snakes, on a motherf*cking arc!"
MoogleViper
23-07-2006, 01:13 PM
I think Laurence (sp?) Fishbourne should be God.

"So Eve. Take the red apple and you will be able to see what is real. Take the blue apple and you will wake up and forget this ever happened."

Granted I haven't seen The Matrix in a while.
The Bard
23-07-2006, 02:14 PM
"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

*cowers behing the 360*

Man, Pulp Fiction is such a cool film.

I think Laurence (sp?) Fishbourne should be God.

"So Eve. Take the red apple and you will be able to see what is real. Take the blue apple and you will wake up and forget this ever happened."

Granted I haven't seen The Matrix in a while.

Haha, yeah, Red Heat was on yesterday, I think he'd be pretty good.

I think Morgan Freeman would be best though.
Fierce_LiNk
23-07-2006, 02:46 PM
It's been a well known fact for ages that Samuel L J is a God.

Actually, i would even go further to say that he has one over on God. ;)

*Svt pops up and tears out F_L's intestines*
MoogleViper
23-07-2006, 08:47 PM
It's been a well known fact for ages that Samuel L J is a God.

Actually, i would even go further to say that he has one over on God. ;)

*Svt pops up and tears out F_L's intestines*

That reminds me of a wanking story I read the other day. Will try to find it.
Conor_NE
25-07-2006, 02:45 AM
He ate me! The motherfucking shark ate me!
soag
25-07-2006, 02:52 AM
I demand Rowan Atkinson is the voice of Jesus.
Tellyn
25-07-2006, 07:03 AM
Come on James Earl Jones.

SIMPSONS QUOTE:

"This is indeed a disturbing universe."
demonmike04
25-07-2006, 07:58 PM
I demand Rowan Atkinson is the voice of Jesus.
Rowan atkinson would actually suit jesus, Im imagining a scene with Rowan on the crucifix acting very sarcastic, im wishing some one would make it now.
mario_jr
25-07-2006, 08:03 PM
Samuel L. J. as God when Interviewed about his thought on Adam and Eve after they ate the Apple.

Do you think they deserve to die?

Samuel: Yes they deserve to DIE, and I hope they burn in HELL!!!