I was never really Offerman....

[DanielOffer]

This is god...

Okay I lie...its not god, its Offerman. I am not returning, well I am, but only to say that the Offerman you knew, and loved\hated was to be honest a complete farce.

Before I start for those that don't know who I am, then you might aswell exit now, but for those that do know me, like Jord, Blackfox...etc...then well you might as well continue to read.

About two hours ago I got laid. If you cast your mind back to the last two years you will remember what my existance here was all about, perving...perving...indecent passes at female forum members...more perving..more sexual frustrations...etc. Basically almost every post had some sexual inuendo.

However it dawned on me now, that what you saw simply was not me. I was extremely disappointed by the sex...infact I only did it because she wanted it. Now, I come home and think that those two years of posts where a waste of time...I don't feel at all perveted anymore...infact I stopped feeling like that months ago. Heck...I just feel like a normal guy.

So yea, I would like to apologise for well....the postage and all I ask is that if your eyeing up some girl...just think to yourself, 'Is this me?'...'Or am I only doing this because I don't know any better'?

[MoogleViper]

A legend dies.

[Jordan]

Congrats err... yeah

[Herr Dark Wolf]

R.I.P

15 characters

[The3rdChildren]

I eye up girls because girls are hot, but welcome back anyway. Your absence was felt.

[Strider]

wow, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

[Jordan]

wow, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

I guess time will tell.
In the mean time, here's some randomness:
BOW DOWN AT OUR THREEEEE DIFFERENT TYPES OF SHIP!
Kudo's for anyone who knows what its from.

[Haden]

Hey guys get OFFerman his case! He got an OFFERman he couldn't refuse and its changed his life offerMAN! lol sorry nice to see you again Daniel and glad you have a greater assurance of yourself hope you stick around. :smile:

[link64uk]

oh my god offerman is no more the world ends today

[AshMat]

I guess time will tell.
In the mean time, here's some randomness:
BOW DOWN AT OUR THREEEEE DIFFERENT TYPES OF SHIP!
Kudo's for anyone who knows what its from.

Futurama: Anthology Of Interest 2


I do remember offers, i think i just got here before he left.

[RoadKill]

2006-04-30 18:07 | piroroadkillaim: what does it matter that Offers is no longer a pervert
2006-04-30 18:07 | piroroadkillaim: who cares?
2006-04-30 18:07 | king0funrealuk: not me
2006-04-30 18:07 | piroroadkillaim: why doesn't he just stick around anyway
2006-04-30 18:07 | king0funrealuk: i've kinda got past that
2006-04-30 18:07 | piroroadkillaim: it'll mean he's not just talking about one thing all the time
2006-04-30 18:07 | piroroadkillaim: so that's cool
2006-04-30 18:07 | piroroadkillaim: I think he overestimates how much people really give a fuck
2006-04-30 18:07 | piroroadkillaim: so you got laid
2006-04-30 18:07 | piroroadkillaim: so it wasn't great
2006-04-30 18:08 | piroroadkillaim: so you're not perverted
2006-04-30 18:08 | piroroadkillaim: ... uh, sure, but why leave?

Silly to leave, Offers.

[Jordan]

Futurama: Anthology Of Interest 2




You sir are a god! Indeedy. Gah, i'm kinda off-topicing to fuck.

Jordan 0 - Steve 1

[RoadKill]

Hahaha, I can't believe we posted the same conversation and didn't even realise at the time.

[Jordan]

Yes bitch!
If it wasn't for you, no one would be the wiser! But look what yee did!

[Dan Dare]

hey dude, welcome back.

[Raining_again]

Classic. Place wasnt the same without you!

[Fields]

Does anyone really care? ::shrug:

[AshMat]

Does anyone really care? ::shrug:
After reading the posts, im thinking yes?

[Kurtle Squad]

Uff.....How could you betray us pervs like this!? :nono:

Ashame ur 1st was a let down...:shakehead ...Hope Jo doesn't let me down like that:(

[Jordan]

Classic. Place wasnt the same without you!

Speaking of which, where have you been?

[RoadKill]

After reading the posts, im thinking yes?

No, maybe he's thinking what I said when I said I don't care.

Which is that I don't care if he's not who he was before. It doesn't matter.

[ShadowV7]

Hey,good to hear from you ,different from the old C-E days.But well done.

[AshMat]

No, maybe he's thinking what I said when I said I don't care.

Which is that I don't care if he's not who he was before. It doesn't matter.
ahh yes, i get you now...
good point, who does care? Will this get locked like his leaving post?

[The Peeps]

Welcome back man

[Raining_again]

Speaking of which, where have you been?

Away on a secret mission.

[BeerMonkey]

aye welcome back offerman i hope that sex u had is one of many and with one of many girls u horny so and so

[Aimless]

aye welcome back offerman i hope that sex u had is one of many and with one of many girls u horny so and so
I can't help but feel you've somewhat missed the point.

I'd say welcome back, but seeing as he said he wasn't coming back, I guess I won't.

[Meik]

You do realise this is the internet, right?

http://jeroenr.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/internets.jpg

I don't think anyone is actually bothered about the whole situation.

[BeerMonkey]

I can't help but feel you've somewhat missed the point.

I'd say welcome back, but seeing as he said he wasn't coming back, I guess I won't.

o yes mustve drifted my mind gah i miss ur perved posts offer they always made me chuckle

[Raining_again]

o yes mustve drifted my mind gah i miss ur perved posts offer they always made me chuckle

Yeah, they were hilarious, bring back pervy offers! legend!

[EEVILMURRAY]

I'm glad you got your Holy Grail, my MSN teachings have not been wasted.

. I was extremely disappointed by the sex...infact I only did it because she wanted it.

No no no, don't give us that crap about how you didn't want it. And the first time's always wank anyway.

[Kurtle Squad]

She BROKE HIM!!!!!

I'm sure Raining_again will fix you if you want:wink:

[gaggle64]

I feel I've missed out on something here...

[Raining_again]

I feel I've missed out on something here...

You and me both.

[Ramar]

*salutes a legend even if he is no longer pervy*

[Cubechris]

So you return to tell us you got laid...the sexual comments live on.

[Solo]

I got laid.

Give details!

[Blackfox]

Welcome back Offers! I hope Offerman v2 sticks around.

And well done... I guess..

[Owario]

The reason I liked you was not because of your perverted nature, but because you were a generally nice guy. See you around chum.

[Haver]

Hey, sorry to interrupt, but I hear Offerman got laid!

[Bogbas]

Finally someone I recognise from the old days :) I mean I do recognise all the admins and so on but half(or more) of the mods are pretty new to me. My generel lack of presence before was because of I was on a 56k modem and this site wasn't being very nice on it...

And while I strolled through the user image gallery I noted that ford prefect apparently "fucked off and left" I still remember the days when I was wondering what kind of ford car is a prefect. That was around the time he had the canadian flag as his avatar I think. Then I read the book.

[Dan Dare]

yeah, where did Ford go? I noticed the same thing

[AshMat]

After looknigt hrough the image gallery, i reealise how much of a perve he really was.

[Ashley]

yeah, where did Ford go? I noticed the same thing

He, as bogbas said, fucked off.

Anyway, welcome back.

[Ryan]

Thought you were banned? Go away!

[rokhed00]

The moral of this story, never set your expectations to high, you'll only be disappointed.

[Ashley]

Thought you were banned? Go away!

Nope, he left. So be kind.

[weeyellowbloke]

Good to here that you have achieved the getting laid dream, shame it wasn't quite all you expected, but keep plugging away and it'll get better. Well so long Offerman the Perv, your posts provided entertainment over the years and (possibly) welcome Offerman the generally well rounded human being, your posts are pleasant to read and your tech knowledge is delightful and informative.

[Platty]

And the first time's always wank anyway.

Speak for yourself, i remember mine being pretty good :)

[Dyson]

Annual wanking thread gone forever? :(

[Shino]

Annual wanking thread gone forever? :(

I think moogleviper got that covered in the other thread.

[KKOB]

forums are great :D :D :D

sorry to hear about Offerman's disappointment.

[DiemetriX]

I was extremely disappointed by the sex

Sex can be fun, if you have fun with sex. The next time you climax, call your own name.

[Jav_NE]

Sex is great, when you're both in the mood. When its just one of you thats horny, it doesnt work. The other isnt passionate and its a chore for them, plus its not really fair to demand that off anybody, i hate it when im not in the mood, im just too kind to say no. Its difficult though, cus if youre not in the mood then you might just hurt their feelings anyway, either way, sex is a mind game!

Sorry your first time sucked, my first time was great, i was drunk, she got on top, i didnt have to do a thing, sweetness haha. But, its different every time so dont be downheartened mate. Plus as rokhed said, dont set your expectations too high. Not everyones a porn star.

Lay off the porn even, its manufactured so why flood your mind with fake scenarios. This will be a good thing for you in the long run.

[Fierce_LiNk]

Sex is what you make of it. I'm not saying you didn't put the effort in or that you're lazy. You'll rarely find people who's first time sex was mind-blowing.

Anyway, nice to hear from you, Sir Offers. :)
You are GOLD (gold). ;)

[Hellfire]

Congra.. er.. I have no idea what I should say in a situation like this.

[Ashley]

You are GOLD (gold). ;)

Always believe in your soul?

[Fierce_LiNk]

Always believe in your soul?

Yup. It's a little in-joke between me and offers. He'll know what i mean.