View Full Version : Adverts That Blow - Secondary Remix
EEVILMURRAY
20-09-2005, 06:45 PM
With new Television comes more adverts that blow. Today fresh in my memory is this Barbie Eau D'Toilette, which looks like water and according to the advert gives the little girl hallucinations that she is in a fashion before reality takes hold.
link64uk
20-09-2005, 06:49 PM
yes that advert is rather stupid. "where'd ya get that" erm let me think she pestered her parents to buy it cos she wants to smell like overpriced plastic dolls.
EEVILMURRAY
20-09-2005, 06:52 PM
Also on the Barbie tangent this new Style a horses head [Apparently meant to be from a unicorn movie but I don't recall seeing a horn]. Hair changes colour in warm/cold water. Ooh, but then you have this young Tracy Beaker girl giving you the most forced smile ever, as if Barrymore's about to knock one out on her face.
kyletherobot
20-09-2005, 07:44 PM
any advert blows where people say 'erbal instead of herbal, the h is there to be used dammit.
Charlie
20-09-2005, 07:45 PM
The Petit-filous "I like it" adverts
Baby-born
McDonalds 'I'm lovin' it" (the jingle)
GoonFace
20-09-2005, 08:08 PM
It is compulsory for any advert related to insurance of some kind to be utter shite and make you want to kill yourself in desperation for slavation.
who would have thought Esure could have replaced Michael Winner with something even more annoying, but they managed it with that damn mouse
That Orangina advert with the most irritating song ever.
Surrealist
20-09-2005, 08:39 PM
Phil Tufnel's loan adverts. *Shudders*
"So Jenny, 'oo was that?"
*Kills Phil Tufnel*
After watching ITVs greatest ads, i can say that half of the top twenty are far too annoying to be left alive.
Blackfox
20-09-2005, 09:47 PM
who would have thought Esure could have replaced Michael Winner with something even more annoying, but they managed it with that damn mouse
Michael Winner is a total ****. If anyone watches that TV show on the North-South divide, you will see why.
Retro_Link
20-09-2005, 10:31 PM
The worst adverts BY FAR on TV at the moment are;
- M&S - This is not just........ it's.......... ARGH!!! SHUT UP
- An advert for a University (which one i can't remember as i type), where they are all doing a rediculous little dance around the place in different uni scenarios, with rediculous fake smiles; all to the tune of...
"I'm moving on..........I'm moving on, roll on roll on" OH MY GOD!!!!! WOULD YOU SHUT UP!!!!!
The Uni advert was most likely created by someone on a degree there, it's that sort of cheap quality, tackiness!!
DanielTimothy
20-09-2005, 11:07 PM
'Loans . . I know nothing about loans . . ' THEN WTF ARE YOU DOING IN A LOAN ADVERT YOU F*CKING SELL OUT! WHEN YOU WON IM A CELEB GET ME OUT OF HERE WAS AGES AGO! Damn Loan/Currys Advert prostitutes!
Cheapshot
20-09-2005, 11:22 PM
The Cilit-Bang advert.
"Hi Barry Scott here!"
Who the fuck are you?!
"It EVEN cleans filthy barbecues!!"
Shut up man! Shut up! Shut up!
It looks so 90s and klitch that it makes me feel physically sick
Noodleman
21-09-2005, 12:00 AM
The Cilit-Bang advert.
"Hi Barry Scott here!"
Who the fuck are you?!
"It EVEN cleans filthy barbecues!!"
Shut up man! Shut up! Shut up!
It looks so 90s and klitch that it makes me feel physically sick
Its supposed to its a piss take of all the rubbish home shopping adverts and the like.
Cheapshot
21-09-2005, 12:03 AM
Its supposed to its a piss take of all the rubbish home shopping adverts and the like.
If that were so why would it make people want to buy the product?
It is quite funny when you put it that way though. :p
EEVILMURRAY
21-09-2005, 10:26 AM
We'll not have a word said about Barry "C-c-c-c-cilliy Bang" Scott on this board.
EEVILMURRAY
21-09-2005, 12:18 PM
Let's not be sexist here, the women's are shit also.
It's just one of things you can't advertise on TV properly. Sadly that doesn't stop the fuckers trying.
the old "The 3rd Place" adverts frome aeons ago.
Worst. Adverts. Ever.
Surrealist
21-09-2005, 06:08 PM
'Loans . . I know nothing about loans . . ' THEN WTF ARE YOU DOING IN A LOAN ADVERT YOU F*CKING SELL OUT! WHEN YOU WON IM A CELEB GET ME OUT OF HERE WAS AGES AGO!
Thankyou. +Rep for you my friend.
arnold
21-09-2005, 06:14 PM
...That was lucky >> Those Damn adverts do my head in, we'll see howe lucky you are when a Truck flies straight through your car and kills you
Apple_NdiB
21-09-2005, 06:18 PM
Let me show you the way,
It's a game that we play,
Oh every day,
So easy.
Let me show you a game I play, it's called I stamp on your knee caps.
EEVILMURRAY
21-09-2005, 06:21 PM
That's the one with that [most likely] French [Urgh] woman pissing around with a kite. Who obviously has some sort of hand problem which rivals Jeremy Beadle because she couldn't catch it when it was in her grasp.
Apple_NdiB
21-09-2005, 06:25 PM
(Impossibly croaky voice) "In the drawer, next to your loin cloth". Also, the way she says "yes" earlier in the advert makes me want to axe myself in the chest.
(I'm talking about the new Herbal Essences advert btw).
CoolFunkMan
21-09-2005, 07:32 PM
The Jamster adverts are evil, they're always on and so f***ing anoying! The voice-overs are so cheesy and fake. No I don't want your stupid ringtones Jamster, now sod off! What kinda name is Jamster anyway!! :mad:
...and don't get me started on the God damn' frog!!! :mad: :mad:
Tyson
21-09-2005, 07:43 PM
Picture, with the over the top acting.
"You know, it's realy easy to talk to those people at Picture...You can actualy have...an adult...conver...sation...." *At this point the man burst out crying of his love for Picture."
Those new Pc World ones, where they show a woman talking to a employee of PC World, and they enjoy a hilarious joke together before they are crushed beneath my large foot as i stamp down their prices.
EEVILMURRAY
21-09-2005, 10:17 PM
The Rimmel ads with Kate Moss giving the impression that nail varnish will give you the ability to crack glass. Tart.
Those adverts for yoghurt where the woman comes in saying she feels 'unaturally bloated' and then her friend gives her these 'new' yoghurts which should sort the problem out pronto. All she really needs is a good fart. She then proceeds to steal the yoghurts, adding theft to her list of criminal activities.
EEVILMURRAY
21-09-2005, 10:34 PM
YES! I've been meaning to mention that. In both adverts the women have resorted to theft in order to get that product.
YES! I've been meaning to mention that. In both adverts the women have resorted to theft in order to get that product.
Thus proving how expensive the product must be in the first place.
EEVILMURRAY
23-09-2005, 06:15 PM
"I'm taking a break" *slap*
One advert which shows no signs of stopping is a clean and clear advert. One girl points to where a spot (On the night before the party!!!) is meant to be [But has one of the most clearest faces ever] and promptly washes.
Then look what they're wearing, that's right. It's been on our TVs since the 80's, maybe longer.
Surrealist
23-09-2005, 06:18 PM
Those Emmenthal ones that are on before ITV "mystery Dramas". STOP IT WITH THE FUCKING PUNS!
zatoichi
23-09-2005, 06:18 PM
"Try these new Activia yoghurts, with Bifidus Digestivum, that well known cholesterol reducing subtance we just made up!"
Apple_NdiB
23-09-2005, 06:22 PM
Bifidus Digestivum
Latin for "cleans your shitpipes a treat"
Shorty
23-09-2005, 06:30 PM
Yknow what always bugged me? Those spot cream/cold sore adverts where the actors were always complaining, even though they had flawless skin.
zatoichi
23-09-2005, 06:35 PM
That insurance company advert, with the smug motherfucker who walks across the tightrope?
*Puts sledgehammer through TV*
the_villa
23-09-2005, 08:41 PM
the one that annoyed but has finally left the screens is the crazy frog tune
EEVILMURRAY
23-09-2005, 09:41 PM
I've got three adverts, which while watching the last 2 hours of TV have blown enough for me to mention them now.
The Wine Gums advert: Some arsehole takes some form of shortcut under a bridge which the way could hold any number of dangers, from the walkway being so slippery since the water is so high or a gang of chavs waiting in ambush. Imagine my surprise when a Troll pops up from the most likely calm shallow barge friendly waters and demands diamonds [in what could be described as the voice of a large gay man] or "feel his wrath" which based on the voice could be deducted to be several new arseholes being torn.
The man, obviously predicted something of this manner and had popped into his local newsagent for a bag of wine gums offers the Troll those instead, under the premise that they are infact rubies and emeralds (skipping the other colours such as black, yellow, orange etc) the lying bastard. His voice is that of the small gay man, with an expression to match [but looks horribly dubbed]. Now the troll most likely knows the man is lying but plays dumb just for the wine gums [Because they're the shit] and promptly drops the bloke in the canal for being a lying prick. Troll chews wine gums with a face of sexual pleasure which only rivals Glitter's were he to walk into a nursery.
The Walt Disney advert: "I'm too excited!" One thing which always annoyed me about this advert was when the girl says "Mum says it's just magical" (Lying whore) and opens her eyes while the little boy has some form of fit. Back of my hand to him.
Mother enters the room, telling them in no uncertain terms to get to bed, now when I was young it was do as you were told, or be punished. Not in TV land apparently. The "But mum!" "We're too excited!" excuse comes into play. Disobedient little shit, that warrants an introduction to the business side of my shoe, with a threat of the holiday being cancelled.
After we see some screens of the holiday, which is great, or was when I went, may have gone downhill. Anyways we cut to the night later. Mum has presumably sorted the kids out in an appropriate manner [IE not having to ask twice (Dragon kick)] and returned to her [I assume] husband in bed. She asks if he is asleep and he replies that he can't because he's too excited, and rightly so, he's no doubt put no end of hours overtime down at the office to pay for this holiday, as has his wife. The kids chime with "We heard that", as if it excuses their disobedience. Holiday cancelled fuckers.
Comet: Apparently Comet staff are trained by riding around on a moped and locating street names [No less than three, or more] and checking them off his list. Our little man finds his last street [Plasma Row I think] and crosses it off, and drives back to Comet's training school and hands his clipboard to the inspector standing outside doing fuck all.
He takes one look at this mans clipboard and slams a passed stamp on it. He doesn't check, the little bugger could've hid round the corner for half and hour and ticked them anyway. It's this kind of shoddy trainees we walk into and demand some expertise when we need a new cooker/TV etc.
zatoichi
23-09-2005, 11:45 PM
Haha, I totally agree with the Comet advert. The first time I saw that I was like.... 0_o teh wtf?
cheets
23-09-2005, 11:52 PM
all comet workers should have to read every gadget site, games forum, and stuff mag before even being consider to work in a shop that sells anything with a plug.
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