A Prisoner is You

[Fierce_LiNk]

Ok, imagine this. You have recently been jailed, in a maximum security prison. You can either see this as you getting your comeuppance, or being put in a prison that is too tough for the severity of your crime.

My question to you, out there on KNEE tonight...what is your crime?

So, if you were to go into Prison, what would be the reason behind it? What would be your backstory behind it? Perhaps you were wrongfully convicted of a crime you didn't commit.

I ask this because I'm re-watching Prison Break series 1 again, and I think the fact that each prisoner has a backstory really interesting. Good character building, and perhaps one or two shouldn't even be in there in the first place.

So...yeah. Be creative on this one. :heh:

[Aimless]

I was framed for a crime I actually did commit. Of all the luck, eh?

[Coolness Bears]

Arson! :o

I'd like to go down in flames...

[Dan Dare]

I swindled an old widow out of her millions :)

[gaggle64]

I knifed Mel Gibson in front of hundreds of people and dozens of cameras during his film premier, and then proceeded to consume his flesh, as absorbing his unholy soul and neutralising it with my own purity was the only way to truly rid all dimensions of the universe from his dark taint. Meanwhile, in a dressing room inside the theatre, his entire 20-man security detail are found naked and bound.

[Dan Dare]

haha good one.

my distate for Gibson the man is in constant conflict with my admiration of his craft. Sadly, I have to admit he's a talented cunt, but a cunt nontheless.

[gaggle64]

Do you really think he's talented? The only two films I've ever even remotely enjoyed which involved him in anyway were Pocahontas and Chicken Run. I was hating him way before it was cool.

[EEVILMURRAY]

I managed to kill Amy Winehouse, Kate Moss, Vernon Kay, Gok Wan [and some others I've forgotten] at the same time in broad daylight and no one saw me.

The only reason they found out was that I left a signed confession, because I didn't want anyone else taking the credit.

[Jimbob]

I finally killed Howard from the Halifax adverts. I gave the people extra. And i nearly got away with it until his only fan base found out he was missing and i left a trail of X's to his body.

[Cube]

I was born with a strange genetic deficiency - I have a rather annoying problem of spontaneously combusting.

Because of this, the only safe thing for the government can do is stick me in the prison.

[triforcemario]

For eating the liver of a man with some fava beans and a nice chianti. -Licks lips in a Hannibal Lector-like way-

[EEVILMURRAY]

I finally killed Howard from the Halifax adverts. I gave the people extra. And i nearly got away with it until his only fan base found out he was missing and i left a trail of X's to his body.
I will have another murder charge on my hands from killing Jimbob as he ruined the worlf by removing Howard Brown.

His picture still adorns my wall.

[Fierce_LiNk]

So, it seems like most of us/you are closet murderers. God, this isn't helping the reputation of videogames, guys! :D

[Dan Dare]

Do you really think he's talented? The only two films I've ever even remotely enjoyed which involved him in anyway were Pocahontas and Chicken Run. I was hating him way before it was cool.

Apocalypto and Braveheart, yo.

[Olympic Gamer]

Kill hundreds of university students to show Cho his record aint that much. I'm a terrible terrible person.

[EEVILMURRAY]

Don't forget Ransom.

[The fish]

Lunging wildly at the Pope! :heh:

I really would, actually, just to see what would happen...

[Tellyn]

I will have another murder charge on my hands from killing Jimbob as he ruined the worlf by removing Howard Brown.

His picture still adorns my wall.

I'd be an accessory to Jimbob's murder.

[EEVILMURRAY]

I'd be an accessory to Jimbob's murder.
I say we spitroast him.

[Wesley]

I managed to ruin the London stock market through high-tech terrorism and whiped off trillions of pounds.

Awesome.

[Shino]

Rape. Ok, seriously, rape.

[Mundi]

Me stabbing Kate Perry multiple times in the face while screaming: WHO HASN'T YOU STUPID BITCH!

OR

An elaborate "murder" where a couple liters of my own blood are found at a crime scene.
At the crime scene the investigator on the scene has to conclude that judging from the amount of blood there that someone must have killed me.
It ends up in an exciting game of cat and also cat where it is revealed that it was me who killed me.
The plot twist is that I am also the investigator trying to solve the mysterious murder of myself at the hands of me and I end up in slowly going insane and killing Kate Perry (for obvious reasons) and going to jail for that.

[LazyBoy]

Robin Hood the Catholic Church.

[triforcemario]

So, it seems like most of us/you are closet murderers. God, this isn't helping the reputation of videogames, guys! :DSan Andreas made me do it sir. :indeed:

[weeyellowbloke]

I was part of a organised criminal gang, but not near the top. I was steadily working my way up, successfully taking part in a number of truck hijackings and a couple of hits. Anyway one day I'm asked to store some "goods", but I had a very curious neighbour who noticed and threatened to phone the police. I decided the best course of action would be to hold her in my flat until my associates came to collect the packages. Unfortunately her workplace noticed she was missing and sent someone round to check on her. She managed to alert them to her presence and I had to flee the situation. The police came round to seize all the good from the flat and my associates turned on me demanding reparations. I had to get the money somehow, so I used my links with a friend working in a local bank to get myself a job there. After a week I went in with a well hidden gun. The plan was simple, I had another friend who had kidnapped the bank managers daughter that morning. At exactly 11:30 he would call the bank and inform them, which was my cue to get the gun out and force them to let me get away with the money. It went wrong though due to my friend having a watch that was slightly slower than the clock in the bank. I got my gun out when he hadn't made the call yet, so the manager went straight for the panic button. I shot him, then his phone rang......... soon the bank was surrounded by police and I was forced to take hostages. I ended up shooting a total of 3 people including a cop before a sniper shot me in the leg and arm bringing me down.

[MoogleViper]

I got so pissed off with this country that I went on a massive killing spree cleansing this world of murderers, rapists, theives, drug dealers, benefit frauds etc. Many people hate me for my crimes but many praise my wrong-doings and feel that more people like me ar needed in this world.

[Raining_again]

I got so pissed off with this country that I went on a massive killing spree cleansing this world of murderers, rapists, theives, drug dealers, benefit frauds etc. Many people hate me for my crimes but many praise my wrong-doings and feel that more people like me ar needed in this world.

Sounds very like death note :heh:

[Dan Dare]

or for those so inclined to watch good stuff: Taxi Driver

[Olympic Gamer]

or for those so inclined to watch good stuff: Taxi Driver

I have watched both, but this is tearing me apart, I cant decide.

[Letty]

Necrophilia, lots of it :(

[bluey]

Rape. Ok, seriously, rape.
why am i constantly surprised when you fuckwits make jokes like this? :nono:

[MoogleViper]

Sounds very like death note :heh:

Actually it is something I would love to do. If only I could get a license to kill.

[Dan Dare]

why am i constantly surprised when you fuckwits make jokes like this? :nono:

you should remember that on the internet, sexual assault is hilarious. You know, instead of being one of the most horrific acts one human can do to another like in real life.

[MoogleViper]

you should remember that on the internet, sexual assault is hilarious. You know, instead of being one of the most horrific acts one human can do to another like in real life.

You mean it's not hilarious in real life?

I'm a bad bad person.

[Roostophe]

I'd rape a rapist, burn an arsonist, and move in with a paedophile mainly so I could just hack into his computer and constantly delete every picture of a child he would put on there. "Where do they keep going?" "back onto facebook, you twat."

Might kill a few celabrities. (Amy Winehouse, Tim Westwood, Michel Platini, Sepp Blatter.) And if Jimbob hasn't got there before me, I'd get to Howard Brown, but I would protect him rather than murder him.

I've said before that I would like to kill Jack Thompson until he dies from it, but I reckon Emasher will get there before I so much as got on the plane to the US.
Especially as not even going there to kill people, including that Fred Phelps tit and every other tit at the Westboro Baptist Church, would be enough to put me on a plane to the US.

[Cube]

Might kill a few celabrities. (Amy Winehouse)

It might be hard...she'll probably beat you to it.

[Shino]

why am i constantly surprised when you fuckwits make jokes like this? :nono:

you should remember that on the internet, sexual assault is hilarious. You know, instead of being one of the most horrific acts one human can do to another like in real life.

I understand its not to everyone's taste, but seeing as we're having fun with genocide in this thread I can't see how rape is the worst problem.

[Roostophe]

It might be hard...she'll probably beat you to it.

No problem, I'd just cross her off the list and replace it with Johnny Borrell Bollocks.

Razorlight could actually end up being better without that div. :shakehead

[nightwolf]

I's more than likely be in prison for eating somebody. Triforce said the same, but y'know, it's nice to move off from killings of celebrities.

[bluey]

I understand its not to everyone's taste, but seeing as we're having fun with genocide in this thread I can't see how rape is the worst problem.
true shino but how many murder victims d'yu reckon might be reading the boards as opposed to the possible number of rape survivors...?
just cause "ITS DA INTERNEHT!!1" doesn't mean it's fine to be in inconsiderate prick.

(apologies to all the inconsiderate pricks reading this ~ i mean no offense!!)

[MoogleViper]

true shino but how many murder victims d'yu reckon might be reading the boards as opposed to the possible number of rape survivors...?
just cause "ITS DA INTERNEHT!!1" doesn't mean it's fine to be in inconsiderate prick.

(apologies to all the inconsiderate pricks reading this ~ i mean no offense!!)

Actually it's more likely that there are more relatives of murder victims than there are relatives of rape victims.

[bluey]

...not talking about relatives. :blank:
just because statistically* it's more likely to piss one group of people off doesnt mean the other group cant get offended.

*sauce! >__>

[The fish]

true shino but how many murder victims d'yu reckon might be reading the boards as opposed to the possible number of rape survivors...?
just cause "ITS DA INTERNEHT!!1" doesn't mean it's fine to be in inconsiderate prick.

(apologies to all the inconsiderate pricks reading this ~ i mean no offense!!)

Statistically, some of the posters have already been raped, some will be, and some will rape someone else. It's worrying, but is also proof that your anger is undoubtedly justified.

Oh, and I reckon someone (you know who you are) thought of putting "I'm a murder victim!" :nono:

Actually it's more likely that there are more relatives of murder victims than there are relatives of rape victims.

That's undoubtedly false, not only as there are more rapes than murders, but also because it all depends on who loosely you define relative...

[Raining_again]

The point is can we not joke about rape, its really distasteful. :/

Personally I'd rather be murdered than raped. I know thats a really horrible thing to say, but rape destroys a persons life. (and a lot go away without being punished)

[MoogleViper]

That's undoubtedly false, not only as there are more rapes than murders, but also because it all depends on who loosely you define relative...

Have you got any source? I've been looking and it's hard to find crime statistics.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

You guys better pray that Jack Thompson doesn't read this thread! :p

About offending people, it's all about the time, the place, and the audience. In this particular forum, I'd say that kind of dark humour it acceptable because most people here finds it acceptable. Yes, the internet is a public place, but we can't censor the internet. It's people's own responsibility to stay off sites with content they don't like. A forum is a tricky matter, as its content depends on it's core userbase. This forum is primarily made up of young men (and the odd female ... yes, bluey, you're odd! I kid!) in their teen years and twenties who play videogames. People coming on this forum have to expect that sort of content. Of course there are also some people on the forum who find some of these things offensive, but we all have different levels of what we find acceptable. At this point it's all down to respect for each other's personal borders. Respect should dictate what one is allowed to say, not censorship.

Well, that's my five cents.

[MoogleViper]

Well this is a thread about commiting crimes. I just don't see how there are lots of posts about murder yet one post about rape. And murder is far worse than rape.

[D_prOdigy]

My tolence of society will vanish with an almighty snap, as we fetch the bread-knife from the kitchen.

[Emasher]

Killing Jack Thompson with a GTA disk.

[EEVILMURRAY]

Necrophilia, lots of it :(
Well Jordan has got the personality of a corpse, so technically you're guilty already.

[Roostophe]

Killing Jack Thompson with a GTA disk.



I've said before that I would like to kill Jack Thompson until he dies from it, but I reckon Emasher will get there before me.

See, I bloody told you.

I think the best option would be to hack into Jack Thompson's computer and put kiddy porn on there. Gary Glitter's, to be exact.

[Dan Dare]

....and get him back in to the south pacific with promises of a new legal career.

[Maase]

My crime would be killing DanDare.. And you know why.

[EEVILMURRAY]

I say we spitroast him too.

[Emasher]

See, I bloody told you.

I think the best option would be to hack into Jack Thompson's computer and put kiddy porn on there. Gary Glitter's, to be exact.

I didn't see your earlier post.

Anyway, I think the Fanboy$ had the best method of killing him off.
http://fanboys-online.com/index.php?comic=92