Every Day Tips 'n' Tricks

[Kirkatronics]

We all know a few ways of making harder tasks that bit easier, or easy tasks really easy. Share yours with us :)

Mine are:

If you can't open a bottle or jar, put your tshirt or a tower over it and then try open it.

Vinegar mixed with water is a very good method of cleaning your windscreen, especially with newspaper.

If you run out of shaving foam, shampoo is just as good.

[Ashley]

However shampoo (and conditioner) is not a good lubricant. Don't do it kids!

[Eenuh]

Since I'm actually too cheap to buy shaving foam, I just use normal (liquid) soap in the shower. Seems to work fine, even with my razor that is god knows how many months old (yes, too cheap to buy new ones). =)
Think my sisters do the same actually.

And for the jar thing, I'm not sure if it actually helps, but dad says you should turn it around, tap the bottom a few times (not too hard, but hard enough =P ) and then the jar should open more easily. Or something.

[EEVILMURRAY]

Don't get any shaving products. I shave dry.

[Kirkatronics]

Don't get any shaving products. I shave dry.Doesnt it hurt?

[EEVILMURRAY]

Only if it's a certain length. But if you get it at the stubbley stage it's fine. Of course a bit of water is used occasionally to cleanse the blade of my potential beard.

[Aimless]

Don't wet your toothbrush before brushing. A dry brush is more effective at removing plaque.

When cooking a frozen pizza, cut it into slices 5 minutes before it's done cooking and then place it back in the oven. The edges of the slices will be 'cauterised', stopping the topping from slipping off and ensuring an even cook.

Instant hot chocolate can benefit from first being made into a paste. Add only a little water/milk to the powder at first and stir it up so it resembles icing. When you add the rest of the liquid you should end up with far fewer granules floating about in your drink.

[Shino]

Don't wet your toothbrush before brushing. A dry brush is more effective at removing plaque.

When cooking a frozen pizza, cut it into slices 5 minutes before it's done cooking and then place it back in the oven. The edges of the slices will be 'cauterised', stopping the topping from slipping off and ensuring an even cook.

Instant hot chocolate can benefit from first being made into a paste. Add only a little water/milk to the powder at first and stir it up so it resembles icing. When you add the rest of the liquid you should end up with far fewer granules floating about in your drink.

Now this are good tips. Thanks.

[Coolness Bears]

Don't wet your toothbrush before brushing. A dry brush is more effective at removing plaque.

When cooking a frozen pizza, cut it into slices 5 minutes before it's done cooking and then place it back in the oven. The edges of the slices will be 'cauterised', stopping the topping from slipping off and ensuring an even cook.

Instant hot chocolate can benefit from first being made into a paste. Add only a little water/milk to the powder at first and stir it up so it resembles icing. When you add the rest of the liquid you should end up with far fewer granules floating about in your drink.

Thanks for the advice Aimless! : peace:

I could have done with the pizza one earlier this evening!

[MoogleViper]

Anybody got any tips on pruning a bonsai tree?

[nightwolf]

Don't get any shaving products. I shave dry.

Never dry shave if you have sensitive skin, specially if you want to end up looking like a lobster, and it fucking hurts.

Aimless the toothpaste one was quite interesting! :awesome:

[Jamba]

For opening jars, don't try and twist hard try and grip hard and then twist. Works every time for me. For those artists out there (although you blatantly know this already) don't buy expensive fixative, just use hairspray cos it works just as well.

Bluey has an amazing new methos of folding t-shirts btw. I'm gonna force her to make a vid of it on youtube.

[Kirkatronics]

For opening jars, don't try and twist hard try and grip hard and then twist. Works every time for me. For those artists out there (although you blatantly know this already) don't buy expensive fixative, just use hairspray cos it works just as well.

Bluey has an amazing new methos of folding t-shirts btw. I'm gonna force her to make a vid of it on youtube.
An0mFZ3enhM
^Like that one? If it is still get her to make one :)

[The fish]

I shave dry, but that's because I'm really, really lazy and use an electric razor.

Roll clothes when packing them, don't fold them. It's much, much more space efficient, leaving you with room for the kitchen sink.

Missing a hole punch? No problem! Take a normal A4 pad of paper (with holes), line your hole-less pages up, and stab in the correct place with a pencil or biro!

Always wear a condom. :wink:

[MoogleViper]

An0mFZ3enhM
^Like that one? If it is still get her to make one :)

I can J fold. Sort of. You have to practice it a lot to get the pinches in the right place.

[Shorty]

Instant hot chocolate can benefit from first being made into a paste. Add only a little water/milk to the powder at first and stir it up so it resembles icing. When you add the rest of the liquid you should end up with far fewer granules floating about in your drink.
This goes for any powder based sauce type thing. When making a cheese sauce from one of those sachet packs, I pour in a little of the milk, stir it up on a light heat til I have a paste, then stir in the rest of the milk. Really helps to avoid lumps.

[Kirkatronics]

If you don't have an egg timer, put the egg in cold water, heat until the water boils, then remove.. Perfect egg no matter what the size :)

[Cube]

^Like that one?

Handy. And pretty easy to do.

[bluey]

yeah it's "j-folding"... :heh: there are looooads of 'hot-to' vids on youtube for it though so unless i was doing a topless version there wouldnt be much point in adding to them (and whats the point of showing you how to fold a top if i dont have a top to fold??! ^___^)

GIRLS!!! (and guys i guess?) just put a dark top on after applying deodorant? did you acquire a nice set of zebra-esque deodorant marks down your sides for your trouble?? no problem!! just rub the t-shirt fabric together over it. it disappears O___O!!
i only learnt that trick recently... along with the j-folding trick... lord knows how i survived for so long without those two pieces of info... :nono:

[EEVILMURRAY]

I'm not sure how effective this is, but it's better than nothing.

Putting receipts in the bin? Don't want uncouth individuals reading parts of your bank account details from the cash machine? Spray with deoderant and the text magically vanishes!

[Emasher]

When trying to get ketchup out of a glass bottle hit the arm that's holding the bottle, not the bottle itself.

Learn keyboard shortcuts, they make your workflow that much quicker.

[uəʌəsʎɐɾ]

Y'all got the opening-a-jar thing wrong. Use an elastic band around the lid or rubber glove to enhance grip.

I can't really think of any tips/tricks besides ones to do with rolling cigarettes, and they're better demonstrated anyway.

[EEVILMURRAY]

When shagging, have the woman on top, it is less effort on your part, making you last longer. Plus it leaves your hands free to roam.

[Tom]

i like to take a more scientific approach to opening stuck jars.
I stand the jar in cold water, to contract the glass, then run very hot water on the lid to expand the lid. Works a treat, but i will concede its not alway the most conveniet way to do things.

Can't think of any other life tips, although I'm sure I have them, as my life generally runs quite efficiently.

[nightwolf]

To women don't sit on top whilst having sex if you have problems with bloating or have ibs, makes things worse.

Haha it's quite interesting reading about the do's and don'ts of having ibs. and going against evil twice in one thread xD

[EEVILMURRAY]

We shall see how many more we can add.

[Ginger_Chris]

When opening a jar, just knock the lid twice against a hard surface, 95% you should be able to open it dead easy.

[Platty]

That t-shirt thing is pretty damn good.

[Kirkatronics]

Y'all got the opening-a-jar thing wrong. Use an elastic band around the lid or rubber glove to enhance grip.

I can't really think of any tips/tricks besides ones to do with rolling cigarettes, and they're better demonstrated anyway.You dont always have an elastic band, or rubber glove to hand. Youll always have a T-shirt/top/towel to hand (even if your wearing it).

[Cube]

Youll always have a T-shirt/top/towel to hand (even if your wearing it).

Not always.

But most of time you can just use the top you're wearing. Works almost all the time.

[MoogleViper]

Not always.

Loose skin might work.


Apparently peanut butter works as shaving cream if you ever run out.

[The fish]

I just tried the shirt thing. A word of advice - don't do it with a long sleeve shirt, it'll end in failure. However, with a single practice run, I can do it perfectly. It's incredible!

[uəʌəsʎɐɾ]

You dont always have an elastic band, or rubber glove to hand. Youll always have a T-shirt/top/towel to hand (even if your wearing it).

t-shirt/top/towel removes moisture but doesn't enhance grip for me. Probably due to how I obliterate my clothes when I wash them...

[Esequiel]

Anybody got any tips on pruning a bonsai tree?

Do it very very very carefully. If its a full grown one they say to trim 1/3rd ish of the new shoots that come through.

Dont take my word for it though, iv killed about 5 bonsais.

[Stefkov]

I just tried that t-shirt one. That's some good stuff, done in a few seconds.

[yoyo]

If you are planning on going on a night out and getting trashed, make sure you masturbate 3 times within the 2 hours before you go out. This will:


Make you less agressive
Make you think situations through more
Make you come onto unattractive girls less
Help you to stay aware of whats going on around you
Make girls more attracted to you
Makes you less impressionable
Decreases your chances of getting depressed
Makes you last longer if you do manage to get laid


Although obviously this also depends on who you are with and how much you've had to drink. Since me and contemporaries put this 'Golden Rule' into action our nights out have (although probably not become much 'funner') become safer and less regrettful the next morning, and stops you being remembered as a drunken arsehole.

This is due to the fact that endorphins are released that calm you down, and counter the effects that testorone have (which normally lowers/overrides your social inhibitions when you become intoxicated). Pheremones are also released that makes girls 'notice' you more aswell.

[Dyson]

If you are planning on going on a night out and getting trashed, make sure you masturbate 3 times within the 2 hours before you go out. This will:

Make you less agressive
Make you think situations through more
Make you come onto unattractive girls less
Help you to stay aware of whats going on around you
Make girls more attracted to you
Makes you less impressionable
Decreases your chances of getting depressed
Makes you last longer if you do manage to get laid
Although obviously this also depends on who you are with and how much you've had to drink. Since me and contemporaries put this 'Golden Rule' into action our nights out have (although probably not become much 'funner') become safer and less regrettful the next morning, and stops you being remembered as a drunken arsehole.

This is due to the fact that endorphins are released that calm you down, and counter the effects that testorone have (which normally lowers/overrides your social inhibitions when you become intoxicated). Pheremones are also released that makes girls 'notice' you more aswell.

Quite possibly the most valuable (and fun) piece of advice ever?

[The fish]

Quite possibly the most valuable (and fun) piece of advice ever?

Most definitely.

Also, ejaculation helps reduce your chances of getting prostate cancer, so it's a win-win situation! :heh:

[EEVILMURRAY]

None of you have heard of the "wank in the tank" concept?!

[MoogleViper]

None of you have heard of the "wank in the tank" concept?!

Care to explain?

[EEVILMURRAY]

Basically the practise of knocking one out before one goes out for whatever reason.

A: "You going to have a surprise erection again tonight?"
B: "Not tonight my friend, I've put a wank in the tank"

It's genius. It combats the need for that stiffy stealth topic we had earlier.

[Hellfire]

Dodongos dislike smoke.

[EEVILMURRAY]

When taking medicine, instead of putting the tablet/pill in your mouth then taking a gulp of water [which normally makes the pill stay in my mouth, and if that's paracetamol the delightful taste is released.

What I do now [with my meds] is have a mouthful of water, drop the pill in and quickly swallow.

[Coolness Bears]

I used to not be able take pills and had to open up the capsuals and eat the contents inside which was horrible.

Now i can do it without water.. :)

[Charlie]

If you are planning on going on a night out and getting trashed, make sure you masturbate 3 times within the 2 hours before you go out. This will:


Make you less agressive
Make you think situations through more
Make you come onto unattractive girls less
Help you to stay aware of whats going on around you
Make girls more attracted to you
Makes you less impressionable
Decreases your chances of getting depressed
Makes you last longer if you do manage to get laid


Although obviously this also depends on who you are with and how much you've had to drink. Since me and contemporaries put this 'Golden Rule' into action our nights out have (although probably not become much 'funner') become safer and less regrettful the next morning, and stops you being remembered as a drunken arsehole.



Just going to reverse that around by saying don't wank before you go out and you'll increase your chances of pulling as you won't mind getting with fat and/or ugly girls. :heh:

[Jordan]

Makes you last longer if you do manage to get laid


Speaking of which, i do remember someone telling me a story about them jacking off before going out and then the girl was giving them a blow job for 2 hours and she started crying because she couldn't make him cum XD.

I can't say i have issues with 'lasting'... Heck its more of an issue that i last too long. Anyway...

[Dyson]

Speaking of which, i do remember someone telling me a story about them jacking off before going out and then the girl was giving them a blow job for 2 hours and she started crying because she couldn't make him cum XD.

I can't say i have issues with 'lasting'... Heck its more of an issue that i last too long. Anyway...

ROFL. :laughing:

[Jav_NE]

That's just mean, the poor girl!

As for the jar thing, doesn;t anyone do the hot water on the lid trick? Works every time, although you do need a tea-towel to turn it otherwsie you will burn your hand.

Here's one for sellotape i thought everyone did. Just fold under a small piece when you are done, that way you wont need to search for the end next time you need it :)

[Charlie]

As for the jar thing, doesn;t anyone do the hot water on the lid trick? Works every time, although you do need a tea-towel to turn it otherwsie you will burn your hand.

Even just the hot tap normally works for me, tea towel afterwards anyway even if it isn't too hot will still help a lot. :)

[Gaijin von Snikbah]

Dont rush past grumpy looking women at the bus stop. I did it once, never again.

[MoogleViper]

As for the jar thing,

I thought you were talking about Jordan's previous acts at first.

Sorry Jordan.

[Cube]

I thought you were talking about Jordan's previous acts at first.

You're not the only one.

[Shorty]

When trying to get ketchup out of a glass bottle hit the arm that's holding the bottle, not the bottle itself.
Pff, to get ketchup out of a traditional glass bottle you don't tap anything, that's just agressive. Make sure the lid is on very tight and shake it in big swinging motions where the bottle turns from upright all the way to pointing at the floor, that floods the top half of the bottle :) pour out some ketchup then spin the bottle in your hand as you turn the bottle back to upright position to catch the excess neatly.

This is a internet shopping tip: sign up to quidco.com, always check hotukdeals.com or google for vouchers. You can nearly always save at least a few percent :D

[Emasher]

When taking medicine, instead of putting the tablet/pill in your mouth then taking a gulp of water [which normally makes the pill stay in my mouth, and if that's paracetamol the delightful taste is released.

What I do now [with my meds] is have a mouthful of water, drop the pill in and quickly swallow.

I've been doing that since I accidently left an awful tasting pill in my mouth too long. Though make sure you're mouth is pointing upward.

[Raining_again]

Paracetamol? You are all wussies :heh:

I take 2 pills twice a day that are about 2.5cm long (plastic ones) and the SMELL and taste of them is absolutely rotten. (think burnt plastic)

Also @ the Jordan/jar thing, I was thinking the same... Maybe that is Jordan's uber awesome life tip.. Who knows XD

[Coolness Bears]

Originally Posted by Emasher View Post
When trying to get ketchup out of a glass bottle hit the arm that's holding the bottle, not the bottle itself.

A better, but slightly more messy way, is

TO SMASH IT!!!

[Emasher]

Not really an option in restaurants though. Which is really the only place they're encountered as not too many people buy them.

[Raining_again]

Or just leave the tub turned upside down for like 15 minutes before dinner? :heh:

[Emasher]

Yes but that isn't an option in restaurants where the bring the bottle out with the meal.

[Dyson]

A better, but slightly more messy way, is

TO SMASH IT!!!

Dear god that's the LAST thing you want to do to Jordan's Jar..

[DomJcg]

What is Jordons jar =S

[Emasher]

We're talking about ketchup bottles.

[triforcemario]

What is Jordons jar =SYou really, really do not want to know. :shakehead

[Coolness Bears]

Dear god that's the LAST thing you want to do to Jordan's Jar..

Haha!

I meant ketchup >_____<

[The fish]

What is Jordons jar =S

I'll explain when you're older... :indeed:

[Daniel]

Haha i tried that tee shirt folding thing! worked a treat :) i then proceeded to just chuck the tee shirt back in the corner of the room, i'll never fold a tee shirt! thats about as pedantic as ironing your socks

[Coolness Bears]

Oh I tried the T-shirt folding thing to and ended up in a complete mess!

I was flipping and flapping and It just didn't work for me. Too confusing :p

[Kirkatronics]

What is Jordons jar =SI think its from before my time, but i remember harribo talking about it. Basically he uses a jar to masturbate in to.

[Cube]

Yes but that isn't an option in restaurants where the bring the bottle out with the meal.

I've never actually seen a bottle of ketchup in a restaurant. Only little pouches.

[Kirkatronics]

If a restaurants brings it to you with your meal, its usually full enough anyway.

[Shotgun2k]

Try to eat before your weekly shop at your local supermarket. This way, you'll avoid basing your spend on your current cravings, and focus better on what's needed to last you through the week.

If you eat a cereal such as bran flakes or wheatabix and add sugar to it, make sure it is added after the milk. The application is more effective in this instance, with more sugar sticking to the cereal, and less being dispersed into the milk. You'll also probably need less sugar.

...more to follow.

[Tyson]

Try to eat before your weekly shop at your local supermarket. This way, you'll avoid basing your spend on your current cravings, and focus better on what's needed to last you through the week.

If you eat a cereal such as bran flakes or wheatabix and add sugar to it, make sure it is added after the milk. The application is more effective in this instance, with more sugar sticking to the cereal, and less being dispersed into the milk. You'll also probably need less sugar.

...more to follow.

You add sugar to Bran Flakes? Corn Flakes I can imagine, but Bran is already so damn good.

About the shampoo as shaving cream one, does it work the other way around? I find I'm far more likely to run out of shampoo unexpectedly than I am shaving cream.

[Jav_NE]

I thought you were talking about Jordan's previous acts at first.

Sorry Jordan.

The thought did occur to me as i typed it, but i couldn't be bothered to try rewording it at Jordans expense. Sorry Jord :p

[Jordan]

*sigh*

IT NEVER ENDS :(

[MoogleViper]

*sigh*

IT NEVER ENDS :(

What the masturbation? I believe you said you've had problems like that beforehand.

[Letty]

Ahahahaha :D

[EEVILMURRAY]

What the masturbation? I believe you said you've had problems like that beforehand.
It's not the wafty cranking that's the problem. It's that he wanks before seeing Letty, so she gets lockjaw giving 2 hour blowjobs.

[MoogleViper]

It's not the wafty cranking that's the problem. It's that he wanks before seeing Letty, so she gets lockjaw giving 2 hour blowjobs.

So the question is now: does anybody have any tips for preventing facial cramp?

[tapedeck]

Don't wet your toothbrush before brushing. A dry brush is more effective at removing plaque.

And:

When you've finished brushing your teeth don't rinse your mouth out with water. The remaining toothpaste in your mouth will work it's magic and last a lot longer. The minty taste will also go after a few minutes.

And:

Bicarbonate of soda is an amazing tooth whitener. A dab on your toothbrush and your teeth will be sparkling in no time. Honest :)

[DomJcg]

Some one tell me what the jar is =S and how it all started! it was before my time too, i have heard rumours of it, but not the story!

Mouth wash is a god send, use it

[MoogleViper]

Some one tell me what the jar is =S and how it all started! it was before my time too, i have heard rumours of it, but not the story!

I am not qualified to reveal this information.Only the legend himself can do that. Mr Jardon.

Or Letty (AKA the new jar) might tell you.

[Stefkov]

Could explain it with the Official R-E Battle Card™
http://img439.imageshack.us/img439/2907/cardjordan3hr.gif
What happened to the new one anyway. It just drifted off.

[Dante]

What happened to the new one anyway. It just drifted off.

What happened to N-E 07 Awards? :confused:

[DomJcg]

Wanks into a jar... =O

Is this true Jordan?

[Dante]

Jordan = Jar Jar Wanks :p

[Charlie]

Bicarbonate of soda is an amazing tooth whitener. A dab on your toothbrush and your teeth will be sparkling in no time. Honest :)

We use Sodium Bicarbonate at work to clean the jacuzzis. It's great stuff, good for snowball fights. :heh:

(Totally safe to eat as well if you're feeling a bit peckish [or if the teeth whitening goes wrong])

[Letty]

Could explain it with the Official R-E Battle Card™
http://img439.imageshack.us/img439/2907/cardjordan3hr.gif
What happened to the new one anyway. It just drifted off.

Pfft, you're so behind the times!!

http://file045b.bebo.com/9/large/2008/01/24/01/1597621144a6699533325l.gif

[Stefkov]

I was trying to find that one. In the end I just had to go to the original thread. *saved*

[Jordan]

Great to see my (very little as it is) reputation go down the drain.

FYI, i haven't used "the jar" in around a year atleast. So... Yeah. You're all fucking fags :p

[Olympic Gamer]

...My second run in with this 'topic' of jars and what not..

seriously, what the fuck? I'm kinda concerned about the forums history and the possible consequences of me investigating it.

[Jordan]

...My second run in with this 'topic' of jars and what not..

seriously, what the fuck? I'm kinda concerned about the forums history and the possible consequences of me investigating it.

Yeah... Its long and complicated and i wouldn't bother.

[Emasher]

I've never actually seen a bottle of ketchup in a restaurant. Only little pouches.

Most restaurants use them here. The pouches are usually only found at hot dog stands and fast food joints.

[EEVILMURRAY]

So the question is now: does anybody have any tips for preventing facial cramp?
Well to make sure those joints don't dry and rust up, it takes a quick trip down Wilko's for some:
http://toolmonger.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/post-wd40.jpg

Instant jaw lube.
FYI, i haven't used "the jar" in around a year atleast. So... Yeah. You're all fucking fags :p
Yeah, he's upgraded to a squeezy bottle, less mess and easier to apply.

[ReZourceman]

I also would love to know the jar thing.


How does one "use" a jar.


Is it an accomplishment that you havn't done so in a year?


PS Yeah 07' awards! We're nearly closer to 2009 then 2007.

[nightwolf]

Great to see my (very little as it is) reputation go down the drain.

FYI, i haven't used "the jar" in around a year atleast. So... Yeah. You're all fucking fags :p

Ok let me get this straight...

YOU USED A FUCKING JAR!?!?

:blank:

[DomJcg]

He dislikes making a mess...

But yeh eww

[Esequiel]

Try to eat before your weekly shop at your local supermarket. This way, you'll avoid basing your spend on your current cravings, and focus better on what's needed to last you through the week.

That is so very very true. I have very little self control when shopping and can easily spend £140 on a weekly shop. When my GF goes she spends £50.

As for the wank in a jar thing... Do you have no control gents? Just at the right moment push your foreskin (assuming you have it) over the tip and "catch" you man juice. Empty into the loo or tissue and rinse off cock.

Much easier.

[KingJoe]

what what what?

[Jordan]

That is so very very true. I have very little self control when shopping and can easily spend £140 on a weekly shop. When my GF goes she spends £50.

As for the wank in a jar thing... Do you have no control gents? Just at the right moment push your foreskin (assuming you have it) over the tip and "catch" you man juice. Empty into the loo or tissue and rinse off cock.

Much easier.

I don't have a foreskin and i shoot like a rifle... it doesn't help.

[Esequiel]

I don't have a foreskin and i shoot like a rifle... it doesn't help.

Oh, your fucked then a jar may really be your best option. Although sometimes it is fun to "peel back" at the vital moment and shoot in her eye. Makes me laugh anyway ^^

[ReZourceman]

This thread has evolved.

[MoogleViper]

One of my mates said that he could put his finger over the end of his nob so when he came it shot really far and powerful. Like you do with a hose.

[Stefkov]

Oh, your fucked then a jar may really be your best option. Although sometimes it is fun to "peel back" at the vital moment and shoot in her eye. Makes me laugh anyway ^^
This is the best post I have ever read.

[EEVILMURRAY]

Is it because it's tighter than Letty's bucket? :D

[tapedeck]

Seriously, imagine if your parents found said jar... That's the stuff psychologists get paid for.

So, everyday tips and tricks...Wank into a jar?! I think I'll skip that one. :p

[Letty]

Is it because it's tighter than Letty's bucket? :D

*IS CRY*

:p

[Dante]

Another topic high-jack by talking about Jordan.

[Charlie]

Seriously, imagine if your parents found said jar... That's the stuff psychologists get paid for.

So, everyday tips and tricks...Wank into a jar?! I think I'll skip that one. :p

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think he probably washes it out after usage.

[Raining_again]

Collecting it would be pretty sick.. XD


Ahhh man, lets see, tips and tricks.

When you dye your hair use lots of vaseline around your hairline. Stops staining.

for the ladies: if your mascara goes dry put it under hot water for 10-15 minutes. [barry scott]Good as new![/barry scott]

:D

[Stefkov]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think he probably washes it out after usage.
Funny if he didn't. Then placed it in the cupboard along with the Jam and Peanut butter. Mayonnaise....do you keep mayonnaise warm? I've always known it to be in the fridge.

[Cube]

Funny if he didn't. Then placed it in the cupboard along with the Jam and Peanut butter. Mayonnaise....do you keep mayonnaise warm? I've always known it to be in the fridge.

What if he placed his jar in the fridge?

Oh: Jam, Peanut Butter and Mayonnaise jars belong in the fridge once they've been opened once.

[Noku]

Hope I can conjure up some good advice after laughing my ass off pages one through five...

- Always put water in the cookery you just used, keeps from getting them all sticky and stucky (especially if you put off doing the dishes for days on end, like I do)
- If you think you're gonne have a hangover in the morning, drink lots and lots of fruit juice before going to bed, and lots and lots of coffee in the morning
- Keep your apples in the fridge, this'll make'm last weeks
- Never take more money with you than you're willing to miss

[Esequiel]

Never put bannanas in your fruit bowl with other fruit. The contact will make the skin turn all black and minging. Also never put them in the fridge.

[Jordan]

Another topic high-jack by talking about Jordan.

You fucking love it.

[Olympic Gamer]

Another topic high-jack by talking about Jordan. *cry*

IS THIS JEALOUSY I SPY? LUL LUL LUL

I personally thought this would be safe of Jar talk now.. but it seems not..

[Jordan]

Nah, Dante just really hates me for seemingly no reason. Ah well.

Don't read on if you don't particularly enjoy the "details."

FYI:
When jar was used, the jar was cleaned out after use. I had to use it because of the consistancy and the 'power'. And Murray, Letty is no bucket... ;)

[ReZourceman]

Don't read on if you don't particularly enjoy the "details."

Why did I read on.

[tapedeck]

Nah, Dante just really hates me for seemingly no reason. Ah well.

Don't read on if you don't particularly enjoy the "details."

FYI:
When jar was used, the jar was cleaned out after use. I had to use it because of the consistancy and the 'power'. And Murray, Letty is no bucket... ;)

I seriously thought you would top the jar up THEN empty it. :blank:

[Jordan]

O_o That would have been pretty sick.

[Jav_NE]

Imagine the splashback! X_X

[ReZourceman]

O_o That would have been pretty sick.

Id like to see something like that. Just....y'know...cos' it would be interesting....visually.

[MoogleViper]

I thought you left it in there. And watched the layers build up. Like sedmentary rock.

[ReZourceman]

"And from this slice we can see that Jordan was a horny bastard"

[MoogleViper]

"And from this slice we can see that Jordan was a horny bastard"

"From our research we can conclude the exact date that Jordan recieved genital warts."

[Jordan]

I've never had those :(

[MoogleViper]

I've never had those :(

Oh really? Take a closer look.

[Stefkov]

Imagine the splashback! X_X
Probably used a funnel.

[EEVILMURRAY]

And Murray, Letty is no bucket... ;)
I bet it's a massive axe wound.
I seriously thought you would top the jar up THEN empty it. :blank:
So did I, because knocking one off into a jar then cleaning it right after? Fucks sake just use some tissue.
Imagine the splashback! X_X
Ah, now that would depend on the consistency.

[Olympic Gamer]

I read on for teh lulz

Seriously, why didnt you just fill it up for great practical joke purposes? Like tip it in a cars exhaust pipe when its parked on a hill so it'l drip down and clog it? It'd make an awesome youtube video

[Mr_Odwin]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think he probably washes it out after usage.

I think the reason why we all know about the jar was that after a session Jordan washed it with mega-hot water and it turned all gloopy/tarry/sticky and he told someone on the forum about it. Obviously, they posted the msn convo.
Or at least that's how it went in my head. Shame we can't consult xsorbit for the truth.

[Jordan]

Its true Odwin, its true.

[ReZourceman]

Semen in a jar + hot water = sticky tarry stuff. Good to know. :)


(Lol, when typing this I accidentally typed semin)

[Cube]

(Lol, when typing this I accidentally typed semin)

Semin: The X-Rated Pikmin Sequel!

[Dyson]

I bet it's a massive axe wound.


ROFL.

:bowdown:

[ReZourceman]

Semin: The X-Rated Pikmin Sequel!
http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m20/ReZourceman/Semin1.jpg

Join Captian Japseye, when his space ship crash lands on a strange world inhabitted by small creatures called Semin. Captain Japseye must repair his ship, at first he decides it is not a problem - the important pieces of the ship that came off are all salvaged and in good condition, however he unfortunately does not have the tools needed to attach them back on. Captain Japseye must come up with a way to manipulate the Semins until they ejaculate, using the sticky residue as a highly adhesive bonding agent to afix his space craft back together.

Semintm utilises the Nintendo Wiis unique features

- Use motion controls to excite the Semin into unloading their hot sticky wad.
- Download episodic content and techniques from Wii Connect 24
- Use the DS to Wii connectivity and stroke and poke your way to entertainment using the DS touch screen.
- The Wii remotes built in speaker provides realistic sounds
- Play with your friends and excite the Semin together!

Semin will be released on September 22nd, look out for more updates only on N-Europe.

[King_V]

Put the trash in the trash can, I can't stress that enough people.

[EEVILMURRAY]

Semen in a jar + hot water = sticky tarry stuff. Good to know. :)


(Lol, when typing this I accidentally typed semin)

It's the secret ingredient pentapeptides used in Olay Regenerist.

[ReZourceman]

It's the secret ingredient pentapeptides used in Olay Regenerist.

Hahahah!

That advert cracks me up.

"Hi I did the make up on Sex and the City. I found out about this new bullshit scieince thing called Pentipilisis, which women will think sounds complicated and so must work, and its amazing I couldnt do my work without it now."

Pentapeptides, what the fucking fuck. People who believe that are thick as shit, and thats the sweet truth.

[Dante]

Nah, Dante just really hates me for seemingly no reason. Ah well.

Seemingly no reason! :blank:

[Caris]

I've never had a wank before. What's it like?

I've always had the impression it's like the cork popping out of a bottle of champagne with a rainbow flowing out after.

disclamer, i have had many many "wanks" before.

[Olympic Gamer]

I'm removing this post due to the fact I got rather contradictory.

All I'l say is Dante, cool it down a bit okay?

[Dyson]

Wank wank wank

What a word!

[ReZourceman]

http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m20/ReZourceman/Semin1.jpg

[DomJcg]

Suddenly the green stuff in ReZ's sig becomes clear ;)

[MoogleViper]

Suddenly the green stuff in ReZ's sig becomes clear ;)

Radioactive semen.

[Calza]

Radioactive semen.

http://images.salon.com/ent/movies/review/2008/06/13/hulk/story.jpg

?

[Supergrunch]

It's the secret ingredient pentapeptides used in Olay Regenerist.
Lol at pentapeptides, what are five amino acids joined together going to do that'll be fundamentally different to four or six?

[ReZourceman]

Lol at pentapeptides, what are five amino acids joined together going to do that'll be fundamentally different to four or six?

Its all well and good talking about clusters of amino acids, but we are talking about Pentapeptides, hmmmkay.

[MoogleViper]

Its all well and good talking about clusters of amino acids, but we are talking about Pentapeptides, hmmmkay.

Some people just don't understand the amazing anti-ageing properties of pentapeptides.

[Raining_again]

Some people just don't understand the amazing anti-ageing properties of pentapeptides.


Don't bash the pentapeptides, I'm really 40! :heh:

[Kirkatronics]

Don't bash the pentapeptides, I'm really 40! :heh:OH MY GOD! You don't look a day over 30:p