Question relating dating

[jamesbill]

Hi all
Actually wanna want to know how to date make a successful.
So am asking you some questions related to dating:
» What are the essentials of a lasting relationship? What kind of signs do girls give you when they're interested? How to tell if someone is interested in you?
» Which signs are pointing out that relationship is going to develop in a long term love and friendship? Decided if you can get along with someone?
» How to make yourself interesting, and compel people want to become involved with you?
Please give me your suggestion. Do you recommend any book which gives dating tips?
Thanks….

[Jordan]

Wow... Err.

I've only been with my girlfriend for just under 2 years, so. I'll try answer these.

» What are the essentials of a lasting relationship? What kind of signs do girls give you when they're interested? How to tell if someone is interested in you?

Being interested in the same things really, really does help. My girlfriend and I have mostly the same interests (hense why she hangs around on this forum...). Shes a keen gamer, she likes mostly the same TV shows/movie tastes oh and we both have similar mannarisms.

She also, extremely different in others. So i guess its helpful to have a mixture so that you can learn/appriciate/be interested.

When girls are interested? Er... I dunno. It helps if they kiss you i guess :p

» Which signs are pointing out that relationship is going to develop in a long term love and friendship? Decided if you can get along with someone?

Long term just kinda happens. I told Letty (girlfriend... since you're a new member) that i was in it for the long run and she seemed happy by what i said. That was an indictation. That and knowing you're truely in love with someone is a great indicator.

» How to make yourself interesting, and compel people want to become involved with you?
Please give me your suggestion. Do you recommend any book which gives dating tips?

I'm not particularly interesting, to be honest. I think i'm just weird enough to attract attention. As for books? Meh, just do what you thinks right generally people aren't that much of an asshole to expect insane crazy things on a first date.

Its important to be natural and be yourself as ultra uber cliché as that sounds it fucking works.

[Jordan's longest post of the year!]

[nightwolf]

Right better start somewhere..

» What are the essentials of a lasting relationship? What kind of signs do girls give you when they're interested? How to tell if someone is interested in you?


Common interest, sexual/emotional appeal. There's no text book but when I like a guy I go out of my way to talk to them and see them things like that. To make a relationship last it just has to be working from both sides, one person can't make the effort while the other doesn't.

» Which signs are pointing out that relationship is going to develop in a long term love and friendship? Decided if you can get along with someone?

Having the above tends to help mostly. I've never been in a relationship longer than 6months. Love sometimes is a biggy, doesn't matter if it's not said as long as it's shown.

» How to make yourself interesting, and compel people want to become involved with you?

You don't make yourself interesting! If you feel you are happy with yourself and what you like and dislike somebody will be more than happy to be with you. Being fake and pretending to like something when you don't is a baddd thing.
Compelling people to become involved with you requires you just being yourself, being open about what you like and don't.

Please give me your suggestion. Do you recommend any book which gives dating tips?

eurgh don't rely on books, dear lord no. Just be you, go out, do what you want, don't try to be somebody else. :awesome:

[MoogleViper]

Getting women is the hardest part. They make absolutely no sense. But once you've been with them a few weeks then you can start to map out their strange ways (but they'll still surprise you). But don't go thinking that once you've mastered one you've mastered them all. They're all different (yet they seem to understand each other better than they understand themselves) so you have to start again.

You can't just make a relationship work. Obviously you can't be selfish and all that shit. Just be yourself (unless you're a total prick then it's probably better to be somebody else). If it will work then it will work. If it won't then enjoy it while it lasts.

[Jordan]

Women confuse and scare me :(

[Charlie]

Always remember that women are always right, even if they are actually wrong.

[Dan Dare]

Basically you need bling, cold ice on your wrist, some pimped out rides and a few hours in the gym to get rock hard pecs.

[MoogleViper]

Always remember that women are always right, even if they are actually wrong.

I don't conform to that stuff. When my girlfriend's wrong I tell her she's wrong. Everyone asks me how the hell I'm not single but I care for her and am nice for her. And as I always say, "You wanted equality, deal with it."

[Haden]

Always remember that women are always right, even if they are actually wrong.

Especially when they are wrong


Just be yourself have a good time girls are humans lol. If you meet one your friends with and they like you then thats a great basis for a relationship.

[Pancake]

If they're going on a date with you that's quite a safe sign that they're interested!

[martinist]

Allways remember:

Rohypnol + alcohal = good times

[bluey]

meeeh i cant help at all! i'm totally with jordan on the whole "letting stuff happen" thing ~ so i'd just say dont worry about it, be yourself and things will turn out oooook!! ^___^
my mum gave me a book about dating this christmas O_o i was like "uhm... mum... you've met my boyfriend, right...?" :wtf: it was rubbish though, full of all the usual "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" bullshit... i expect most dating books would be the same... stick to your gut feelings/advice from random people from gaming forums!! *grin*

Women confuse and scare me :(
amen, sista! women are terrifying. i'd hate to be a guy (or a lesbian) and have to deal with dating women... its bad enough BEING one of them... though it's the lesser of two evils, to be fair.. :blank:

*mood swing!*
you chauvinist pig!!

[AeroScap]

» How to make yourself interesting, and compel people want to become involved with you?


Thing is everyone says be yourself and they will like you. In reality its really "Be yourself and IF they so happen to like you it would be so much cooler".

In real life everyone changes the way they are around people. Just dont be a weirdo. THat is my advice.

[nightwolf]

Thing is everyone says be yourself and they will like you. In reality its really "Be yourself and IF they so happen to like you it would be so much cooler".

In real life everyone changes the way they are around people. Just dont be a weirdo. THat is my advice.

See this is where I disagree, I have never once changed in the slightest to make anybody like me.

They do tend to go ''omg girl gamer'' then fall in love with me :heart:

haha

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

They do tend to go ''omg girl gamer'' then fall in love with me :heart:

Who wouldn't fall in love with a girl gamer?

On topic, I'm not sure a gaming forum is the best place to look for advice about women. :p Though what's been said sounds pretty reasonable. In danger of sounding like a worn-out cliché: Be yourself. The girl wouldn't want to date you if she wasn't already interested. And since you have probably been yourself when she became interested in you, that means she's interested in the real you, not some role you play.

But again, this is coming from someone who has never had a girlfriend nor been on a date, so you judge the credibility of the advice.

[Eenuh]

See this is where I disagree, I have never once changed in the slightest to make anybody like me.

They do tend to go ''omg girl gamer'' then fall in love with me :heart:

haha

That's only worked for me once actually. XD

[Raining_again]

There ain't too many women on this forum to give you an opinion haha :heh:

In all honesty, being yourself is really the best option. You won't be fully happy with someone when you aren't being yourself. :)

Edit: Being a girl geek never works (from experience)... I like fellas into the same kind of thing as me, and I think it scares them when I know more than they do...

[Emasher]

Look on wikihow.

[King_V]

Don't want to sound like the voice of reason: Dark side Edition, but girls and all this lovey-dovey shitz is terribly overrated. Now I haven't dated 'a lot' of girls but I'd still wager that a lot of girls (lets just say under 21's ^^) are lacking in simple give-take courtesy, ESPECIALLY pretty girls who get a lot of attention. They just sit there on their a$$es and expect shit without thinking about your needs or wants, putting you in situations where it seems like you have to beg for some McLovin's.

On top of that, relationships (or rather 'modern' relationships) take up a great deal of time (hours on the phone talking shit), effort (Attempting to get used to said pretty girls bull$hit and fooling yourself that you are in the wrong when she clearly is - just to avoid an argument) and MONEY; all I want to say to this is if that girl expects you to pay for EVERYTHING and not at least offer to chip in, DUMP HER on the spot (You probably won't but if this happens a 2nd or 3rd time and she knows you're a lowly peasant-student part-time working to earn a half-respectable existance, come on dude, let it go :/, that girl obviously doesn't give a fck about you.

This might come across as a rant, and it is, but it is also crucial information in its crudest form.

Basically don't be fooled, for that soft, mushy feeling is not always love but you on puppet strings being made to do the Riverdance in dog shite.

[Olympic Gamer]

I cant answer your questions, but I can offer some advice.

If she says no, its no. Or try not to get caught

[scubahood]

Don't want to sound like the voice of reason: Dark side Edition, but girls and all this lovey-dovey shitz is terribly overrated. Now I haven't dated 'a lot' of girls but I'd still wager that a lot of girls (lets just say under 21's ^^) are lacking in simple give-take courtesy, ESPECIALLY pretty girls who get a lot of attention. They just sit there on their a$$es and expect shit without thinking about your needs or wants, putting you in situations where it seems like you have to beg for some McLovin's.

On top of that, relationships (or rather 'modern' relationships) take up a great deal of time (hours on the phone talking shit), effort (Attempting to get used to said pretty girls bull$hit and fooling yourself that you are in the wrong when she clearly is - just to avoid an argument) and MONEY; all I want to say to this is if that girl expects you to pay for EVERYTHING and not at least offer to chip in, DUMP HER on the spot (You probably won't but if this happens a 2nd or 3rd time and she knows you're a lowly peasant-student part-time working to earn a half-respectable existance, come on dude, let it go :/, that girl obviously doesn't give a fck about you.

This might come across as a rant, and it is, but it is also crucial information in its crudest form.

Basically don't be fooled, for that soft, mushy feeling is not always love but you on puppet strings being made to do the Riverdance in dog shite.

I 100% agree very much overated enjoy single life as much as you can. I'm seeing someone at the moment and she wants it to get more serious which is a good position for a change as i'm calling the shots and not the girl. As soon as you take away the pussy power its all a lot easier.

[Jamba]

I'll go for a general answer here to these queries (sp?).

I think that you are taking the wrong angle on the whole situation. It's not a case of trying to make it work. It's more: "if it's right then it's right". You shouldn't make any great effort to seem more appealing (although being curteous and polite are just a given) nor should you be looking for any signs or whether it's "working". That will just make you feel pressured.

You shouldn't be wondering how you can be right for her but if she is right for you. You can only know how you feel about her so if you aren't sure how she feels then do that modern idea of communicating. There is no shame in talking to her about how you feel.

Relax and just enjoy the company. No harm in being honest, cos if you try and fake your way then down the line it will all come out in the wash.

[Dan Dare]

See this is where I disagree, I have never once changed in the slightest to make anybody like me.

They do tend to go ''omg girl gamer'' then fall in love with me :heart:

haha

you play games?



zomg, b00bz.

[MoogleViper]

I cant answer your questions, but I can offer some advice.

If she says no, its no. Or try not to get caught

*looks at court order*

That's where I've been going wrong.

[Gizmo]

And as I always say, "You wanted equality, deal with it."

I am so stealing that line. I predict it will become immensely useful.

Ona semi-related note, I have recently noticed that girls looks and girls personality seem to go exactly in inverse proportion. Like, I know a girl who used to be a really nice person, but wasn't particularly good looking, but now she is good looking, but an arsehole.

It's a realisation that has somewhat depressed me.

[Raining_again]

I am so stealing that line. I predict it will become immensely useful.

Ona semi-related note, I have recently noticed that girls looks and girls personality seem to go exactly in inverse proportion. Like, I know a girl who used to be a really nice person, but wasn't particularly good looking, but now she is good looking, but an arsehole.

It's a realisation that has somewhat depressed me.

The same goes for fellas :heh:

Settle for an average looking girl with an average personality?

[Gizmo]

The same goes for fellas :heh:

Settle for an average looking girl with an average personality?

Or keep looking for the exception that proves the rule.

[Shotgun2k]

I'll go for a general answer here to these queries (sp?).

I think that you are taking the wrong angle on the whole situation. It's not a case of trying to make it work. It's more: "if it's right then it's right". You shouldn't make any great effort to seem more appealing (although being curteous and polite are just a given) nor should you be looking for any signs or whether it's "working". That will just make you feel pressured.

You shouldn't be wondering how you can be right for her but if she is right for you. You can only know how you feel about her so if you aren't sure how she feels then do that modern idea of communicating. There is no shame in talking to her about how you feel.

Relax and just enjoy the company. No harm in being honest, cos if you try and fake your way then down the line it will all come out in the wash.

Agreed.

Being confident and believing in yourself is so important: not only to attract others, but to find who you truly connect with. Effectively, self belief (or lack of it) can have a big influence on the connection made between two people, however potentially compatible they may be.

[AeroScap]

See this is where I disagree, I have never once changed in the slightest to make anybody like me.

They do tend to go ''omg girl gamer'' then fall in love with me :heart:

haha

Thing is its very discreet if it happens! End of the day you do it with your friends or different groups of friends. From the language you would use around them, to the things you would do i.e. I have generally two groups of friends 1) the uber nerdy ones which I would feel comfortable staying up all night playing 4 player tales of symphonia and chilling out with popcorn and smash brothers to 2) the "lads" who hang around someone's house for a beer few games of pro evo, get lashed and go out on the pull.

I feel (dont attack me girls >.<) that the "just be yourself" advice is more like them feeling that they wouldnt want to be on the receiving end of that way of conducting yourself. Though from the pure point of view from you! of course I wouldnt go to someone I met at a club and go "heya I play wow at least for 5 hours a day and stayed in with housemates playing mario kart"

I am obviously going to say "yeah I do taekwondo and I am a 2nd year law".

Simply put its quiet depressing and I am most certainly not advocating someone making up an alternate life but I would choose to present more approving details which would grab their attention and maybe once you get to know them throw in the odd detail of your geekyness.
Atm there are some (girl) friends that I have that know all my dirty little gaming habits but obviously when I met them I didnt open up on that detail..

if you go out on a date! make sure you get stuff to talk about but dont take over the conversation. Have stuff on reserve but most importantly be a good listener.
AND let her know your intentions with some kind of gesture.

There was someone I knew from tkd club and obviously there was the cheeky playing around antics and one day, she was talking when we were finally alone and I just put my finger on her lips, she stopped talking, went in close, stopped just at touching her lips, held it for a split second (you can feel her breath) and kissed her slowly (extremely passionate) which then followed by her sucking my face off >.< following by a "about damn time"

But it made the process of wanting to continue things futher very very easy since we both knew we were interested in each other. if she turns you away when you try then it saves you the time!

That's only worked for me once actually. XD

At least it works for girls ...

[scubahood]

The trick to finding a girlfriend is don't look for one.

[Eenuh]

At least it works for girls ...

Nah not really, my case doesn't count since we met online, because of games (Zelda). And it's easy to talk about your interests online. No one in real life really knows anything about my gaming life, since I never (get to) talk about it. =P

[somme]

Best chat up line....

"get in the van".

[AeroScap]

Nah not really, my case doesn't count since we met online, because of games (Zelda). And it's easy to talk about your interests online. No one in real life really knows anything about my gaming life, since I never (get to) talk about it. =P

Haha same here like secret ninja gamers *shifty eyes*, no one ever gets to find out and when they do they are suprised!

@somme: or "get back to the chopper"

[Jav_NE]

Women are attracted to confidence, but not arrogance. That's the key i'd say because being charismatic and able to get their attention will get you started and in a position to at least ask for a date. All the other stuff such as getting along and having a mixture of interests just depends on who you both are. You can't force a relationship, no matter how attractive you may find each other, relationships based on sex never last.

[EEVILMURRAY]

@somme: or "get back to the chopper"
It's "Sit on my choppa"

[AeroScap]

It's "Sit on my choppa"

That does not sound nice..

[martinist]

The trick to finding a girlfriend is don't look for one.

i've been doing that for almost 3 years now...it just doesn't work, although i came close once.

[gaggle64]

The same goes for fellas :heh:

Settle for an average looking girl with an average personality?

It's not an absolute rule though. I'm moving in with Uni friend next year, who's a thoroughly good bloke and absurdly beautiful. It makes going out to clubs for girls a bit of farce though, all he has to do is stand there and they magnetise towards him, while my best bet is sort of standing in the way and hoping one of them sticks.