Most Inappropriate Things To Say In Any Given Situation Thread

[ReZourceman]

The poster says what the most inappropriate thing to say in the situation listed is. A few posts per situation, or until its not amuseful.

Situation 1)

You're sitting in the dentists chair and hes about to give you a route canal op.

Whats the most inappropriate thing for any of the parties in this sitch to say?

Leaderboard

MoogleViper 3

EchoDesiato 2
ShadowV7 2

EEVILMURRAY 1
Mundi 1
Shino 1
iPaul 1
Ellmeister 1
Stefkov 1
Strider 1
weeyellowbloke 1

[Jordan]

"You're so damn sexy, why don't you use another one of my holes instead?"


Yeah... thats awful in so many ways. I'm sorry.

[Brian Mcoy]

Mcoy could think of other things you could stick down his mouth

[Fierce_LiNk]

An inappropriate thing to happen would be:

Dentist: Ok, I'm just going to take a look...SLIME!
You: What?
Dentist: ITS A RIVER OF SLIME!
You: ...

[weeyellowbloke]

"You're so damn sexy, why don't you use another one of my holes instead?"


Yeah... thats awful in so many ways. I'm sorry.

Jordan wins the thread with one post. I'm struggling to think of anything... umm......"Hmmm, that does look quite serious. Nurse, hold him down. I'm going to have to get the Black and Decker out".

[Tellyn]

"Hmm this isn't good. Doris, I'm gonna need a hacksaw."

[ReZourceman]

"Oh bollocks, didnt wash my hands"

[Stefkov]

'Oh my god is that a malignant tumor!'

[ShadowV7]

Burtrice, bring out the drill and a tranquelisor to help ease the pain, this guy is gonna need it.

Or

Just KOFed in your mouth.

[Fierce_LiNk]

"I was at my girlfriend's last night, and I got back late, haven't had time to clean myself up."

[ReZourceman]

"Oh FUCK...Did you feel that?"

"....No"

"...Oh never mind"

[Apple_NdiB]

on the subject of strange conversations at the dentist's - I went a few weeks ago because I was experiencing pressure on my back teeth due to my wisdom teeth coming through. The dentist, an attractive young woman, told me that it could be due to teeth grinding, and eager to impress her with my knowledge of medical terminology piped up, "Oh, yes, that's called Priapism isn't it?" She hadn't heard it being called that before, so when I got home I typed it into Google.

I'm not going back there again.

[ReZourceman]

on the subject of strange conversations at the dentist's - I went a few weeks ago because I was experiencing pressure on my back teeth due to my wisdom teeth coming through. The dentist, an attractive young woman, told me that it could be due to teeth grinding, and eager to impress her with my knowledge of medical terminology piped up, "Oh, yes, that's called Priapism isn't it?" She hadn't heard it being called that before, so when I got home I typed it into Google.

I'm not going back there again.

*Googles*

.....LOL!!!

[ShadowV7]

on the subject of strange conversations at the dentist's - I went a few weeks ago because I was experiencing pressure on my back teeth due to my wisdom teeth coming through. The dentist, an attractive young woman, told me that it could be due to teeth grinding, and eager to impress her with my knowledge of medical terminology piped up, "Oh, yes, that's called Priapism isn't it?" She hadn't heard it being called that before, so when I got home I typed it into Google.

I'm not going back there again.

What happens when you try to get into dentists pan-....dental floss

[MoogleViper]

Dentist- "Man I shouldn't have drunk ALL the bottle of whiskey"

Or

Dentist- "What the hell is that?"

[blender]

"cuntflaps"

[Cube]

*Dentist notices how dirty your teeth are*

Dentist: What on Earth has been in your mouth?
Patient: Your Mum.

[Noodleman]

So I get the results of the STD test today, will it be Herpes or just Cold Sores.

[MoogleViper]

Dentist - "Damn I've cut my finger. I sure hope that HIV test comes back negative."

[Konfucius]

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing, I've seen it countless times on TV before."

"What would you say if I told you that I messed up left and right?"

[ShadowV7]

1)
Dentist: Show me your mouth
*Patient opens your mouth*
Dentist: No, the other one.

2)
Wanna hear something funny? I have no idea what i'm meant to be doing here. And what's those white things sticking out of your gum?

[MoogleViper]

Dentist - "Word of advice, never go out wearing all green. You end up doing jobs you have no idea about."

Dentist - "I also unblock drains part time."

[Hellfire]

"SHOW ME YOUR MOVES!"

I got nothing

[ReZourceman]

Someone select a new selection! :)

[MoogleViper]

ReZ you should pick a winner and then they should pick the next one.

[Tellyn]

You come in straight after his last patient and see him giving the dental equipment a little wipe on his pants.

That's not something inappropriate to say, but rather to do.

[Shino]

"There's more pubic hair in here, than in my crotch."

[ReZourceman]

ReZ you should pick a winner and then they should pick the next one.

I chose you, for the ones that made me laugh the most. :bowdown:

Special mention to Flinkys RIVER OF SLIME! :heh:

[EchoDesiato]

Dentist: I also do rectal examinations! In fact, I did one 2 minutes ago.

[Calza]

Dentist: I also do rectal examinations! In fact, I did one 2 minutes ago.

"Ohh would you look at that, I forgot to change gloves"

By this point his hand is halfway down your throat.

[BeerMonkey]

Dentist - MANNNNNN your mom was good last night....DAMN!!

[mcj metroid]

"and that's the tooth"

*laughs*

"oops i left the gas on"

[MoogleViper]

Ok next situation:

You have just come out of the cubicle in the mens toilet and the guy form the next cubicle comes out.

(if you are a woman then just reverse it.)

[The fish]

The classic: "Do NOT go in there!"

[AshMat]

Stickiest, wank, ever!

[EchoDesiato]

Your pooping sounds turn me on.

[The fish]

"Hey, I was watching you over the top of the cubicle wall, and you are rather well endowed, my friend! Say, do you mind of I get a close look?"

[MoogleViper]

"I wish the glory hole was on your side of the cubicle."

[Coolness Bears]

"and that's the tooth"

*laughs*

"oops i left the gas on"

Woot! I love that simpsons episode. :D

[Konfucius]

"Excuse me good Sir. I have a hamster up my arse and I can't get it out. Could you possibly give me a hand?"

[ShadowV7]

Damn I think that whore game me an STD.
I tried peeing without a hand, but it went everywhere.

*Walk out and turn around to cubicle*
Yea so it's £50 an hour then? I'll just wash my hands then get my wallet.

[BeerMonkey]

*hey i got a idea lets hide in the vents and when the next person comes in lets drop on him as hes taking a shit

[MoogleViper]

*Walk out and turn around to cubicle*
Yea so it's £50 an hour then? I'll just wash my hands then get my wallet.

"So I owe you a fiver then."

The winner is EchoDesiato.

[EchoDesiato]

You're a doctor, and you have to tell your patient he/she has aids.

Go.

[Roostophe]

"Er...have you ever been to Africa?"

[Ramar]

*puts on Team America*

"Explains it better than my many years of medical knowledge."

[triforcemario]

"I think I have Prostate cancer, can you come and take a look?"

[thirtynine.]

I was on a date type thing, there was an awkward silence.
So i filled it with this gem
"The other night when i was watching bangbus i saw the most hilarious thing"
She replied
"What is bangbus"
The akward silence continued to be silent when i refused to explain.

[Stefkov]

You see this hard thing. I'm gonna shove it in ya. In ya deep and hard.
Then I'll be inside ya, wearing ya like a glove.
That's what aids feels like.

[McPhee]

"Somebodys been shagging a cheap whore again! And let me guess, you didn't think you needed a rubber?"

or

"Nurse, £50 says this man is dead before the year ends. You in?"

[uəʌəsʎɐɾ]

so noone here watches Armstrong & Miller? They have a hugely inapropriate dentist sketch every week.

[Iun]

"Hands up all the people in this room who don't have AIDS? No, sir, you put your hand down..."

[Oxigen_Waste]

"Hands up all the people in this room who don't have AIDS? No, sir, you put your hand down..."

He wins. :bowdown:

[ReZourceman]

I agree, Lozzles!

[Dog-amoto]

This guy is pretty inappropriate methinks

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=iAKYQjpDtpA

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=On3mrKW-Nk0

Sorry if a bit late!

[Jordan]

"I heard that if theres a vent above you, if you look up and spin around as fast as possible you'll glitch out of the world and jump to the vent!"

[EEVILMURRAY]

"I bet I left more shit smears than you"

[ReZourceman]

Murray wins...new sitch! (We've worn this one)

[EEVILMURRAY]

Things you would say after beating them at a game, be it racing or fighting etc.

[AeroScap]

"I beat you like I did your mum last night! Booo yah! *hold hand up for high five*"

(Right right here is a real a life one from me.

Me and a girl are settling in to watch the movie, which just so happens to be the sixth sense.
She says "ive never seen this movie, actually looking forward to it!"

Since i wasnt the one who rented it; i ask "what movie is it?"
replied "sixth sense"

To which i said "hey isnt that the one where bruse willis is ............"

and so that was the beginning of a great night :))

[ReZourceman]

"I beat you harder than I beat my wife."

"Disabled much?"

[darksnowman]

I am your father.

[Dog-amoto]

Just go on Xbox Live for suggestions on that one Murray!!

[martinist]

"I've just raped you of your pride, now i'm gonna rape you of your virginity."
*cracks whip*

[BeerMonkey]

is now a good time to say my controller isnt plugged in

[Ellmeister]

You suck a hell of a lot! Just like your sister and your mum last night.

[ReZourceman]

Ill play using my hands next time.

[Mundi]

HAHA! I win and as per our aggreement i get to have sex with your little sister.

[McPhee]

"YAWN"

(damn 10 character bull shit!)

[EEVILMURRAY]

HAHA! I win and as per our aggreement i get to have sex with your little sister.
This one is the dealbreaker.

[Letty]

Oh sorry, I fell asleep -

[Marshmellow]

"Next time maybe I won't let my toddler play for me"

[Stefkov]

'I just nailed that tight end, much like your mums last night.'

(American football tight end)

[Mundi]

Alrighty.
You just got an abortion and your in the room with the nurse and doctor.

[Shino]

"Would you like some chips with that?"

[Stefkov]

So I wonder what dead baby tastes like...

[Shino]

The doctor shoves a stick into the fetus and while using the fetus as a puppet, says "Why do you hate me mommy?"

[Marshmellow]

Stef already won this one! Nice one.

My attempt:

You: "Soo what are you guys going to do tonight?"
Doctor and Nurse: "Work, you?"
You: "Have unprotected sex with my boyfriend."

[Hellfire]

"I falcon punched the hell out of that fetus"

I'll try to keep my comments in these thread related to Captain Falcon and the knee.

The doctor shoves a stick into the fetus and while using the fetus as a puppet, says "Why do you hate me mommy?"

DING DING DING! We have a winner!

[Dyson]

A dead baby you didn't want?
Me with my hands covered in blood?

I make that Pimms o' clock!

[AeroScap]

"Next time maybe I won't let my toddler play for me"

Maybe later you can play with my "toddler" :laughing:

[tapedeck]

Alrighty.
You just got an abortion and your in the room with the nurse and doctor.

Doctor: Do I still have to pay child benefits?

[ReZourceman]

(Shinos was awesome)

------

Nurse ; "He has your eyes."

[Mundi]

The doctor shoves a stick into the fetus and while using the fetus as a puppet, says "Why do you hate me mommy?"

Shino takes the gold

[Shino]

Here goes.

You're in your room jerking off, and one of your parents storms in, at the EXACT moment you cum.

[Stefkov]

Muummy! It's bleeding!

[Mundi]

Videogames and Satan made me too it!

[ShadowV7]

I swear I was thinking of you the whole time!

[Jimbob]

Want some milk in your coffee

[Shyguy]

*Orquard silence*

"well, i guess there goes my pocket money"

[Hellfire]

I swear I was thinking of you the whole time!

pfff ahah good one!:bowdown:

[ReZourceman]

Can you pass me the tissues?

------------

Son, dont worry. It is completely natural to experiment like this at your age. Now have you tried inserting a finger into your anal passage?

------------

Son ; "Can you please ask before you come in here?!"
Father ; "Well you clearly didnt."

[MoogleViper]

"I didn't mean to do it, it just fell into my hand... repeatedly."

[ShadowV7]

I was just trying to get a piece of chocolate off, it didn't make it easy so milk came out

[Shino]

I swear I was thinking of you the whole time!

Hilarious, you win! The other ones were pretty funny too, high quality round.

[ReZourceman]

That was a hard one IMO (No pun intended)

[ShadowV7]

Hmm let's see,

You walk into a changing room in a swimming centre and as you walk in to a cubicle, there is already someone naked about to put on their costume(male or female)

[MoogleViper]

"Getting dressed already? I've only just got here."


"Man I wish mine was as big as that."


"Well it's a tight squeeze in here."
"That's the way I like it."

[Dyson]

Son ; "Can you please ask before you come in here?!"
Father ; "Well you clearly didnt."

Ahahaa, great!

[MoogleViper]

"My dream is coming true."


"This is just like that porno I watched last nigh, except you're a man instead of a woman. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers."

[Mundi]

You showed me yours now i will show you mine

[Marshmellow]

heeey big boy

[ReZourceman]

Who left a whale inflatable in my cubicle?!

[MoogleViper]

"What the hell? I specifically requested that he has no clothes."

[ipaul]

Oh, I used to have one of those!

[MoogleViper]

Haha good one ipaul.

"Well someone's pleased to see me."

[ipaul]

I like yours better :D

Another one- Got milk?

[EchoDesiato]

Aah, I'll buy it at a high price, strangah!

[Konfucius]

"I've just come in here and now I'll come in you."

"I like it when you turn around and scream."

[ipaul]

Do you want a lollipop little girl? too far?

[MoogleViper]

Do you want a lollipop little girl? too far?

"I'm 35 years old."
"Shh, it's called roleplay."

[Stefkov]

'Let's have hot greasy sex'

[MoogleViper]

I think this situation has been milked. Pick a winner please.

[ShadowV7]

I think this situation has been milked. Pick a winner please.

Don't worry i'm picking one just now,it's pretty close between you and ipaul.

I think i'll go for Moogleviper, he done a couple of good ones.

[MoogleViper]

YAY!!! (although I thought ipaul had some really funny comments)

Anyway situation is:

You are in a restaurant (or other public eating place if it fits your comment) and a mother gets her boobs out to breastfeed her child.

[Letty]

Guess you can stay :p


(in reguard to tits or gtfo)

[ReZourceman]

"Madame, Im afraid the other guests are getting upset. They want a go."

------------

"Ill have what that babies having."

[welsh_gamer]

"If I grab a straw, will there be enough for two of us?"

"Squirt some over here love! I've run out of milk for my tea!"

[Ellmeister]

Got milk? :p

(had to be done)

[MoogleViper]

Got milk? :p

(had to be done)

I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to take a point off of you for that one.

[ShadowV7]

"For starters i'd like the chicken wings followed by-....i'm sorry but I really need to jerk off about now,damn that kids lucky"

[Ellmeister]

I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to take a point off of you for that one.

:( must redeem self!
Can't think :(

Do all drinks come served? Or do I have to go other there and pour them myself..

Any good this time? :S

[MoogleViper]

Yeah you've redeemed yourself.

[Ellmeister]

Yeah you've redeemed yourself.

Phew =] Can't go to sleep knowing I'm a point down for whatever sick depraved point list I'm on!

[Stefkov]

'Bitty?'

...

[Konfucius]

"Waitress, come over here! I demand to be fed the same way... and with cream please!"

[ipaul]

Not really one thing said but-


'I'm afraid we are going to have to ask you to leave madame'

'Why?! Can't a woman breastfeed in public?'

'Well yes but the couple over there say they want their baby back'

[ShadowV7]

Some of these have been really good so far. Damn your good ipaul.

[Stefkov]

To the baby
'You want fries with that?
Go large for a bit extra.'

[ipaul]

'And may I just comment on how nice your jugs are here'

[welsh_gamer]

That is probably not the only fluid to originate in the human body that has been consumed at this McDonalds!

[ipaul]

'I wish that was me......I love being sucked off by babies'

[MoogleViper]

Ooh some good ones this round. I'll leave it open for a bit longer before I pick a winner.

[Marshmellow]

*Walks up to woman and starts to breathe heavily while staring at said breast*

[ReZourceman]

Pick a winnaaarrr! (We've milked this one for all its worth)

[MoogleViper]

Pick a winnaaarrr! (We've milked this one for all its worth)

:nono:

It's close between Ell(e)meister and ipaul. I'm gonna have to go with ipaul as he had more comments.

[ReZourceman]

Lol, I loved

"'Well yes but the couple over there say they want their baby back'" Lollztastic!

[ipaul]

Oooo I have to think of one now.

You are at a funeral and the coffin is being lowerd into the grave.

[Charlie]

Sucks to be him...

[Roostophe]

Put your hand over your mouth and muffle "Hello?", while knocking on the chair you're sitting on.

[Mundi]

Another one bites the dust!

[ReZourceman]

Vicar ; "And may god rest this soul. Richard Dagenby."

Undertaker ; "Oh shit. Ive buried the wrong guy"

----------------

Fucks sake. He still owed me a tenner.

[Ellmeister]

Another one bites the dust!

That deserved genuine lols. It got lols.

*looks at oldest person at funeral*
Have a good look...you're next.

[EchoDesiato]

*puts on weird hat*

Aooowww!

Yeah, you know they're gonna bring it down now They're gonna wreck it down, yeah

Somethin's come to rock me and I can't keep my head I've get nervous in the New York city streets when my legacy treads I know I'm better off standin' in the shadows far from humans with guns but now it's too late there's no escape from what they have done

come on!

I'm goin' deeper underground there's too much panic in this town I'm goin' deeper underground there's too much panic in this town I'm goin' deeper underground

well I got to go deeper got to go much deeeeepeeeer yeah ha, heh they're gonna wreck it down yeah

stpdoooo ba-dudum daaw da daaw da da-daaw heah yeh, we gotta bring it down yah

some people with a pocket full of money and an eye full of hate take your pleasure with destruction of the the very thing that they try to create somebody tell me why this own mankind only tip of them touch heaven help them when they bite off more than they can chew and now it's too muuuuch

I'm goin' deeper underground, heah ooow there's too much panic in this town I'm goin' deeper underground there's too much panic in this town I'm goin' deeper underground there's too much panic in this town

I'm goin', I'm goin', I'm goin' deeper underground I'm goin', I'm goin', I'm goin' deeper underground I'm goin', I'm goin', I'm goin' deeper underground I'm goin', I'm goin', I'm goin' deeper underground

Somethin's come to rock me and I can't keep my head I get nervous in the New York city streets when my legacy treads I know I'm still better off standin' in the shadows far from humans with guns but now it's too late there's no escape from what they have done

I'm goin' deeper underground there's too much panic in this town I'm goin' deeper underground [background] I'm goin' I'm goin' I'm goin'....... I'm goin' deeper underground I'm goin' deeper underground I'm goin' deeper underground got to go, got to go deeeeepeeer deeeeepeeer, deeeeepeeer, yeah I'm goin' deeper underground got to go deeeeepeeer deeeeeee eeeeeee eeeeeee peeeeerrrrr gotta get down now

they're gonna bring it down yah they're gonna bring it down now they're gonna bring it dooooowwwwwwn I'm goin' deeper underground

[ipaul]

*looks at oldest person at funeral*
Have a good look...you're next.


Haha! I liked that one :)

[Dyson]

*puts on weird hat*

Aooowww!

Yeah, you know they're gonna bring it down now They're gonna wreck it down, yeah

Somethin's come to rock me and I can't keep my head I've get nervous in the New York city streets when my legacy treads I know I'm better off standin' in the shadows far from humans with guns but now it's too late there's no escape from what they have done

come on!

I'm goin' deeper underground there's too much panic in this town I'm goin' deeper underground there's too much panic in this town I'm goin' deeper underground

well I got to go deeper got to go much deeeeepeeeer yeah ha, heh they're gonna wreck it down yeah

stpdoooo ba-dudum daaw da daaw da da-daaw heah yeh, we gotta bring it down yah

some people with a pocket full of money and an eye full of hate take your pleasure with destruction of the the very thing that they try to create somebody tell me why this own mankind only tip of them touch heaven help them when they bite off more than they can chew and now it's too muuuuch

I'm goin' deeper underground, heah ooow there's too much panic in this town I'm goin' deeper underground there's too much panic in this town I'm goin' deeper underground there's too much panic in this town

I'm goin', I'm goin', I'm goin' deeper underground I'm goin', I'm goin', I'm goin' deeper underground I'm goin', I'm goin', I'm goin' deeper underground I'm goin', I'm goin', I'm goin' deeper underground

Somethin's come to rock me and I can't keep my head I get nervous in the New York city streets when my legacy treads I know I'm still better off standin' in the shadows far from humans with guns but now it's too late there's no escape from what they have done

I'm goin' deeper underground there's too much panic in this town I'm goin' deeper underground [background] I'm goin' I'm goin' I'm goin'....... I'm goin' deeper underground I'm goin' deeper underground I'm goin' deeper underground got to go, got to go deeeeepeeer deeeeepeeer, deeeeepeeer, yeah I'm goin' deeper underground got to go deeeeepeeer deeeeeee eeeeeee eeeeeee peeeeerrrrr gotta get down now

they're gonna bring it down yah they're gonna bring it down now they're gonna bring it dooooowwwwwwn I'm goin' deeper underground

Scary - my Dad wants that played at his funeral :laughing:

Win post to be honest. Also about the only funny one in this thread, the majority of posts haven't been even slightly funny :(

[Konfucius]

*walks up to the family*
"You know, it is a fact that sometimes people wake up in their grave again... So here's your last chance before burying him possibly alive!"

or:
jump on the coffin and shout: Surfin' USA.

[Stefkov]

'So you a necrophiliac?' wink wink nudge nudge.

[Mundi]

*walk to the casket and bangs his hands on it* You have to do everything before i do! Selfish fucker....

[Marshmellow]

*Walks up to the wife of the deceased*

"So we still on for tonight?"

[MoogleViper]

"He was lucky really."

[AshMat]

!Bastard, always gotta be the centre of attention!!

[ipaul]

I'll pick a winner for this soon, I think the situation is starting to wear thin.

[MoogleViper]

"He always has to upstage me. I got a new car so he got a bigger one, I built a conservatory so he built a bigger one, I broke my leg... Well I'm having nothing more to do with him."

[ipaul]

Think I'm gonna give this to Ellmeister, because that one made me lol the most, although fine efforts all round, especially you Moogleviper.

[MoogleViper]

Think I'm gonna give this to Ellmeister, because that one made me lol the most, although fine efforts all round, especially you Moogleviper.

Always the birdesmaid never the bride. Although Ell(e)'s "you're next" one was great.

Just out of interest did anybody get the Lee Evans referance?

[Ellmeister]

I won :| I actually won?!?! ZOMGZ :O

So erm situation..
You've just been caught out cheating on your wife/gf with someone else (I'll leave it open for some gay jokes if you want :p)


Gogogo.

[ShadowV7]

Honey, I thought this was you...

I was just checking your sisters teeth, there all good, just like her breathe

I'm acting out a scene in my new movie...yes it's a porno...

[MoogleViper]

"I slipped on a bar of soap and all of my clothes fell off, I then landed inside your sister."

[Roostophe]

"Well, you said I was rubbish at shagging. So, I thought I'd get some practice in. Your father was only too keen to give me lessons."

[MoogleViper]

"Well, you said I was rubbish at shagging. So, I thought I'd get some practice in. Your father was only too keen to give me lessons."

"He knew what you liked."

[Stefkov]

'Wanna join in?'

[EchoDesiato]

"Uhm... wanna do a threesome...?"

EDIT: Damn you Stefkov!

[EEVILMURRAY]

"It isn't what it looked like, the dog jumped me!"

[ShadowV7]

"I know what your thinking, I should get punished for this, and I already have. Honey, I have AIDs."

[Ellmeister]

"I know what your thinking, I should get punished for this, and I already have. Honey, I have AIDs."

What is your obsession with honey? :p

The aids comment has put this one in the lead so far :p

[EchoDesiato]

"If it makes you feel any better, this woman's actually a man."

[MoogleViper]

"This isn't what it looks like, It's much worse."

"Don't worry she's not enjoying it."

[ShadowV7]

I didn't think I used 'Honey' that much :heh:

I'll try and use it less now.

[EchoDesiato]

*Guy sees girlfriend coming in*
*Guy looks at girl that he's nailing*

"Hey, wait! You're not my girlfriend!"

[MoogleViper]

"HOW DARE YOU GET UNDERNEATH ME AND MAKE ME GO INSIDE YOU WITHOUT MY REALISING!!!"

[ShadowV7]

"I got tricked into doing this, honest. If I didn't then she said the cat would die and who am I to let a life go to waste."

"You know how naive I am, we both wondered what our reproductive parts was used for, it was like an adult jigsaw puzzle, we just want to see if they would fit in with each other."

[ipaul]

I did tell you from the start I was an animal lover.

[MoogleViper]

"What am I doing here? Oh man I must have blacked out again."

[ShadowV7]

"I knew I should've locked the door..."

[ReZourceman]

"Help, baby, Shes raping me!"

[ipaul]

Wait your turn bitch!

[ShadowV7]

Your mum was showing me how she got pregnant with you.

[Stefkov]

'She openened the door and invited me in.'

[Mundi]

Don´t worry she´s just the office slut and it was my turn at the office to screw her.

[Demuwan]

Get you're dick out of my wife!

[Apple_NdiB]

"I'm just keeping it warm for you!"

[ipaul]

You know he's raping me and it's still better than your shitty sex.

[Stefkov]

I did shout surprise.
Technically it's not rape then.

[Ellmeister]

Worth picking a winner now?

[ipaul]

I'd say so.

[Ellmeister]

I pick ShadowV7, a few of his were funny and:

"I knew I should've locked the door..."

was probably the funniest.

Moogleviper was close though. Once again almost moogle :p

[ShadowV7]

Ohh I get to pick.

Let's see, your getting married and it's your turn to say your vows, but you forget them.

[ReZourceman]

Line


Filler.

[EEVILMURRAY]

"You know I love you, and I'm gonna treat you like a queen... and.. er... and shit like that."

[welsh_gamer]

"Fuck this! Let's just go to the reception so we can get drunk!"

[Ellmeister]

All I know babe is.. I want to get to know you so I can get to know you're mum... oh and I do.


I promise to ermmmmmmmmmm..ermmmmm and erm yeh that'll do. Now wheres the drinks?

[ShadowV7]

Might end this one soon cause after thinking about it, it's a bit sucky and hard to think of a funny line.

[Stefkov]

I love you like I loved your mum last night.

And your sister.

[ShadowV7]

I'll end the round with Stefs comment.

I promise i'll pick at better one next time.

[mcj metroid]

" I...........am...........gay"

[Ellmeister]

" I...........am...........gay"

Think you got the wrong thread :p Try the sexuality thread :p


jokessssssz =]

[mcj metroid]

Think you got the wrong thread :p Try the sexuality thread :p


jokessssssz =]
damn you're right:D

[Stefkov]

Ok situation.
If anyone quotes burnt face man you win the round automatically
A baby is falling from a high building with the mother screaming on ground level.

[Konfucius]

"I hope you've got spares."

or

"If you're screaming like this now, I don't want to hear you once it hits the ground."

or

"Relax, so far he's still in one piece."

[Wesley]

"Is it a bird... Is it a plane... wait no it's a... shit, that yours?"

[Slaggis]

"You've been framed here I come!"


Wes, yours made me lol!

[ReZourceman]

"Heh. Hate to be that babies mother....Oh..."

[rapunzel]

Don't worry, it's already dead

or

Twenty quid says it doesn't bounce

or

I see you had Michael Jackson as a baby sitter

or

Well you know the old saying, what goes up eventually comes down...

[Stefkov]

I think I'll leave it till later and pick the winner later tonight.
I think all of the situations should be given a day, just to let everoyne have a go if people are wanting to have a go.

[Cube]

"Don't worry. Spend a night with me and you'll soon have a new one."

[EchoDesiato]

"What are you screaming about? You wanted an abortion. This is the same, just...later."

[uəʌəsʎɐɾ]

I'm so gay for you right now.

I don't know what the situation is. But it had to be said.

[Stefkov]

Echo your go.

it's worn out and that was the best.

[ReZourceman]

Echo your go.

it's work out and that was the best.

I Lolled! :)

[Stefkov]

I don't understand but I lol aswell. just a spelling mistake...?

[ReZourceman]

Laughed out loud, literally extremely decent! = Lolled.

[EchoDesiato]

You've been caught jerking off to a porn genre of your choice.

Be creative, you get the choose the genre AND what you'll say.

[ipaul]

Didn't we already do the 'get caught wanking' one =/

[EchoDesiato]

Really? Sorry about that, haven't really been following this thread that much. Give me some time to come up with a different one.

EDIT:

My God I have a sick mind:

You're on a crowded subway, when suddenly explosive diarrhea erupts in your trousers. The stench and the overall grossness makes nearly every passenger barf. So, what are you gonna say?

[ipaul]

Wait a minute, whats this?! One of me, 30 of you? I make that Pimms o clock dont you?!

Sorry I just had to do that

[Stefkov]

'Man it's like Niagra Falls down there'

[ipaul]

*Looks at person eating Mcdonalds 'Dam, must have been that Mcdonalds I had about a half hour ago'

[kiwikid]

I work for a citizenship office here in NZ and we have ceremonies for people who have been appointed new citizens. One applicant who was from Iraq just recieved his certificate of Citizenship and my team leader congratulated him with the following comments, "You must be so pleased to finally be a Kiwi citizen. You can wake up each moring and not worry about having a bomb go off in your back yard" God I just stood there cringing, while the poor applicant just nervously laughed the comment off. It's not the first innapropriate comment she's made during a citizenship ceremony.

[Mr_Odwin]

I work for a citizenship office here in NZ and we have ceremonies for people who have been appointed new citizens. One applicant who was from Iraq just recieved his certificate of Citizenship and my team leader congratulated him with the following comments, "You must be so pleased to finally be a Kiwi citizen. You can wake up each moring and not worry about having a bomb go off in your back yard" God I just stood there cringing, while the poor applicant just nervously laughed the comment off. It's not the first innapropriate comment she's made during a citizenship ceremony.

Interesting, but not really in keeping with the purpose of the thread.

[EchoDesiato]

Interesting, but not really in keeping with the purpose of the thread.

I beg to differ:

I work for a citizenship office here in NZ and we have ceremonies for people who have been appointed new citizens. One applicant who was from Iraq just recieved his certificate of Citizenship and my team leader congratulated him with the following comments, "You must be so pleased to finally be a Kiwi citizen. You can wake up each moring and not worry about having a bomb go off in your back yard" God I just stood there cringing, while the poor applicant just nervously laughed the comment off. It's not the first innapropriate comment she's made during a citizenship ceremony.

[rapunzel]

it wasn't me...

[Mr_Odwin]

I beg to differ:

We're supposed to post about the situation that the "current winner" poster has given.
Anyways ... moving on.

[EchoDesiato]

We're supposed to post about the situation that the "current winner" poster has given.
Anyways ... moving on.

:( I was hoping someone'd see the humour in that...

[kiwikid]

Sorry guys, I didn't realize I was supposed to comment on the above post. My mistake.

[Wesley]

:( I was hoping someone'd see the humour in that...

I did! I laughed out loud. For the first time on a forum for... years!

[Patch]

You're on a crowded subway, when suddenly explosive diarrhea erupts in your trousers. The stench and the overall grossness makes nearly every passenger barf. So, what are you gonna say?

Excuse me, can I borrow someone's pants?

[MoogleViper]

*looks at person next to you* "Erm... it was you."

[uəʌəsʎɐɾ]

*pulls trousers down, grabs a handful, rubs it on his face, starts flinging it everywhere*

"Scramble!"

[MoogleViper]

"I think I just shat myself."

[Wesley]

*giggles*

.

[Cube]

"Who wants free chocolate?"

[MoogleViper]

"Hands up people who have soiled themselves."


(somebody should do a league table for this thread *looks at Rez*)

[Stefkov]

'Sticks finger around underpants'
'Takes a bit on finger and does a 'tache like Hitler'
Heil.

[Strider]

"Hey, its better than a bomb"

[ReZourceman]

"Hands up people who have soiled themselves."


(somebody should do a league table for this thread *looks at Rez*)

*Looks at Moogle*

....

*Moogle kicks ReZ*

OWWW!


Ohhhh.....Im on it.

Leaderboard

MoogleViper 2
EchoDesiato 2
ShadowV7 2

EEVILMURRAY 1
Mundi 1
Shino 1
iPaul 1
Ellmeister 1
Stefkov 1

[EchoDesiato]

"I think I just shat myself."

This one wins. Stating the obvious is the most inappropriate thing to say sometimes.

I wanted kiwikid to win with his post, but that seems quite unfair. So Moogle, it's your turn now.

EDIT: Oh damn, shouldn't have let Moogle win this one! I now made him the leader. :D

[Eenuh]

This one wins. Stating the obvious is the most inappropriate thing to say sometimes.

I wanted kiwikid to win with his post, but that seems quite unfair. So Moogle, it's your turn now.

EDIT: Oh damn, shouldn't have let Moogle win this one! I now made him the leader. :D

I'm not really good at thinking of funny things, but I still wanted to contribute (too late) with:


"Oh, shit..."

[MoogleViper]

Ok erm...

You've just walked into a classroom/lecture/meeting late.

(you'll have to think more for this one.)

[ReZourceman]

Sorry Im late, I was contemplating if this lecture was even worth me coming to. Carry on though....

[EchoDesiato]

I'm sorry teacher, but you came late too last night.

I'm not really good at thinking of funny things, but I still wanted to contribute (too late) with:


"Oh, shit..."

I won't ignore you, as you seem to hate that lately. I'll just say: nice try! :p

[Ellmeister]

"Sorry I'm late for the meeting, I was stuck behind some fat ugly woman who couldn't drive to save her life.. I swear she was blind! So I told her with a few unmentionable words how she should have driven."

*woman walks in*
"Steve, this is your new boss Moria, I believe you've already met her.."

[Stefkov]

Sorry I'm late, on the way here a cat jumped out into the road causing the car in front to swerve off to the right into a burger stall. The burger stall went flying off toward a shop window, glass flew everywhere blinding a small child causing him to scream and cry and wander about into the road making a huge petrol lorry pull an emergency brake. A massive pile up ensued and there was a loud bang as the petrol lorry blew up. It starting pouring fire setting everything alight, explosions everywhere. People screaming in agony, the smell of burning flesh filled the air.

Man: And where were you in this ordeal?

Oh... I set the cat off.

[AshMat]

Sorry i'm late, the cat made a real mess when i put her in the microwave.

[Mundi]

"Hey i already punched my wife for nagging about me being late so don´t make me do it again!"

[Wesley]

"Why the fuck are you all so early?"

[Strider]

"I'm sorry i'm late, i was in a crowded subway, when suddenly explosive diarrhea erupted inside my trousers. The stench and the overall grossness made nearly every passenger barf. Again i apologise for being late. "

[ipaul]

Sorry I'm late, the bell rang before I got here (perhaps not that funny but if anyone is ever late to a lesson and the teacher asks you why please use this =D)

[EchoDesiato]

"Why the fuck are you all so early?"

Brilliant, amazing! :smile:

"I'm sorry i'm late, i was in a crowded subway, when suddenly explosive diarrhea erupted inside my trousers. The stench and the overall grossness made nearly every passenger barf. Again i apologise for being late. "
Also love this one. :p But I'm not the one that gets to choose...

[Mr_Odwin]

"Hammer time!"

*Runs*