Videogame logic

[Dog-amoto]

Post any examples you can think of where logic completely goes out of the window in videogames. Try not to be game specific, try and think of something that appears in a lot of games.

I'll get us started:

The more you beat up on a boss character, the stronger they become, often moving faster and using much stronger attacks.

In return for you saving their lives, NPC's constantly send you on fetch quests which surely would waste more time and hasten their impending doom.

Any more?

[uəʌəsʎɐɾ]

STEALING THIS FROM SHORTY: But basically, throughout, say, metroid 3... Why have they left power-ups for you all over their dead planet? Why are all the locals so hell-bent on killing you? Why have they locked all their doors from the outside?

maybe I'll be able to add some of my own tomorrow...

[Sanchez]

This is the most important battle of your life, the future of the world depends on it, if you can't do this we will forever be under brutal nazi/soviet rule and suffer for decades.

Let's see if you can beat them with only 12000 credits.

[uəʌəsʎɐɾ]

ooh - guards who see you, chase you for a minute, then a timer runs down and they say "aah must've been nothing" and go back to their posts. Nubs.

Or when you're sniping and you miss the guy, then he turns and immediately runs towards you and starts shooting you.

[The Bard]

Why can't I climb over that pile of rubble? It's 2 feet tall. Oh and wow...slaying that pack of rats just got me 2000 gil and a tent. Intriguing. Hold on a sec, a landmine just blew the best part of my face off, I'm gonna need to munch on this here ration.

[uəʌəsʎɐɾ]

HEALTH PACKS HEAL EVERYTHING. I can carry UNLIMITED WEAPONS and ammo. I somehow run faster with a knife. I can jump twice my height! I NEVER EVER, NO MATTER WHAT GAME IT IS, NEED TO PEE.

[LazyBoy]

Good idea for a thread.

Well the obvious ones are the basic lack of sustance and rest. Heroes go te whole journey without eating or sleeping. But the most fascinating one is the complete irresponsiblity of parent in videogames, mostly RPGs and and adventure games. I always see the conversation going like this.


Random person: Hey Bill

Father of hero: Hey Tom

Random person: How it going

Father of hero: Good good, yourself?

Random person: Oh yeah fine. Hey I haven't seen your boy Mark around here recently? What's he up to?

Father of hero: Oh you didn't hear, he's off on a quest to defeat the ancient evil threatening life as we know it.

Random person: How cute. That sounds like the Mark I know haha. I must say though, you must be a little worried though musn't you?

Father of Hero: Oh no, I gave him a quick ten minute swordfighting tutroial before he left. Oh and he's on his journey with a great mercenary who said he would take care of him.

RP: Really a mercenary? So you know this guy?

FoH: Oh no, but he told me himself he would look after him. He said they would have lots of fun.

Rp: That lucky boy, to have an adventure like that at his age. How old is he now?

FoH: He turned 8 last month.

RP: Eight wow, they do grow up fast. So you didn't fancy going with him.

FoH: Are you mad? There'd be no one here to look after my Petunias.


Or something like that.

[darksnowman]

Heres a link to a (recycled) article on IGN- top ten RPG cliches that need to die:

http://uk.games.ign.com/articles/830/830045p1.html

[Jordan]

Why do you always start out fighting mice and bats? :(

[EchoDesiato]

Why does touching an enemy always hurt? Sure, some have spikes and stuff, but not all of them do.

[Zelda_Rulez]

Heres a link to a (recycled) article on IGN- top ten RPG cliches that need to die:

http://uk.games.ign.com/articles/830/830045p1.html

I'll raise you this: http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html

[Hellfire]

Why does touching an enemy always hurt? Sure, some have spikes and stuff, but not all of them do.

One word: Herpes.

[darksnowman]

I'll raise you this: http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html

Whoa, thats quite the list. I'm afraid I haven't read it all, I just skimmed down it and read ones that stood out to me... you sure did trump my top ten with your top 192!

Ten points are easier to digest though. :P

[Jonnas]

The cleptomania rule. You can rob the people's houses right in front of them. Plus, they always leave their doors unlocked.

Also, the convenient rule that the monsters get stronger as you explore the world. How come the strong monsters don't appear near your village?
Except if there's a cave/dungeon that was locked/hidden during big part of the game. By the time you find it, the monsters inside will be many times stronger than the ones in the forest nearby that you explored in the beginning...)

[Mundi]

Even though the dark lord´s army is at they're footsteps and ready to destroy and enslave your generic town, the shop keepers still insist on you paying for the sword of awesomeness that could really help you when your supposed to stop them

[Jordan]

Theres never any cake in games :(

[gaggle64]

Almost all barrels explode, regardless of what may or may not be in them. Furthermore, enemies just love to gather round the ones that do.

Also crates. You always end up pushing massive crates around the place, which are invariably everywhere - even in peoples houses, up mountains, trees and sometimes just out in the middle of nowhere. Why crates? How many crates do you ever push in real life? What did crates ever do to you to deserve this?

[Shino]

In fighting games, that last punch to the enemy's foot (or other non letheal places) killed him.

[Dog-amoto]

Theres never any cake in games :(

Yes there is. But the cake is a lie.

[Jonnas]

In fighting games, that last punch to the enemy's foot (or other non letheal places) killed him.

Yet, they can get up instantly after their legs were broken in gruesome ways.
Of course, if you didn't break their legs hard enough, you can just poke'em in the toes, just to make sure they broke.

[weeyellowbloke]

Random scientist dude: Hey man, I just need to get down to lab. I was working on that world destroying genetic virus and forgot my glasses case. Here's my ID.

Security guard: Alright that all seems in order. Hang on I just need to go and get that golden arrow head from the corridor upstairs and head down to the crypt to get a key. Actually while I'm at it could you go to the dog kennels and get that key from one of the dogs collars. Hmmm, you might need to gather those death masks, as well as the hidden gems..... and light the various coloured lanterns........ and rotate the statue.... and drain the pool.

Random scientist dude: Well..... ummmm, don't you just have a key card or something that'll just open the door.

Security guard: Pffft, that's hardly secure is it.

[Brian Mcoy]

Random scientist dude: Hey man, I just need to get down to lab. I was working on that world destroying genetic virus and forgot my glasses case. Here's my ID.

Security guard: Alright that all seems in order. Hang on I just need to go and get that golden arrow head from the corridor upstairs and head down to the crypt to get a key. Actually while I'm at it could you go to the dog kennels and get that key from one of the dogs collars. Hmmm, you might need to gather those death masks, as well as the hidden gems..... and light the various coloured lanterns........ and rotate the statue.... and drain the pool.

Random scientist dude: Well..... ummmm, don't you just have a key card or something that'll just open the door.

Security guard: Pffft, that's hardly secure is it.

Mcoy knows you'd have a hard time if you came to his mansion, Mcoy has about a 1000 secret entrances that require a stupid tool, the only good thing is that there is alot more sex involved.

[gaggle64]

No matter how many warzones you fight in, there are never ever any civilians around. Either that or the entire population happened to be employed by the army. Including their pets and children.

[Mundi]

Apparently everyone in the world can speak and write in English fluently, even aliens

[weeyellowbloke]

Shoot someone in the foot five times and they will die. Possibly this is due to a fragment of bone breaking free, entering the bloodsteam, reaching the brain causing swelling, hemorrhaging and eventually massive strokes. This all happens in matter of seconds though.

[Jordan]

The real world is brown.

[McMad]

How the fuck is double-jumping possible?

[Zell]

Midair jumping is always a great form of transport. Especially when carrying a machine gun, a sniper rifle, a shotgun and double rocket launchers in your trouser pocket.

[Goron_3]

It really makes we wonder how Link can take out his sword in one fair swipe. Surely, cos it's so big and all, he'd have to take it out in 2 steps :S

And yeah, it's crazy that characters just get weapons out of nowhere. If links iron boots were that immobile, how does he carry them around?

[Nintendohnut]

The ability to get shot in the (shooting, gun holding) arm three times and only lose two bars of health, whilst retaining the ability to shoot at the person who did it with no problems.

Ooh, and not being able to shoot for about 1/2 a second after you have been shot somewhere, and taking a small step back. Dunno about you guys but it would probably take me a little longer than that to get over the MASSIVE HOLE IN MY CHEST

*coughs*

[Emasher]

Being momentarily invincible after getting hit.

[uəʌəsʎɐɾ]

Hows about the fact that landing in a pool of water is seemingly DEADLY in most games. Why can't they just swim?

Falling from any height and doing a little roll at the end to avoid damage! Of course!

[McPhee]

Fall in to water from any height and you will survive

Keep walking in a straight line and eventually you hit an invisible wall

Enemies attack you one at a time

You walk in to a shop and talk to a shop keeper, he shows you loads of stock. Look around his shop and none of it seems to be there.

[AshMat]

The Water Rule:
It's either:
A: Your character cannot swim, touching water kills you instantly.
B: Your character can swim, and falling from ANY height, even a mile up, will not be the least bit fatal.

If you do a single jump off a massive cliff, you can still do the 2nd jump at the very bottom and touch the ground softly.

[Kurtle Squad]

It really makes we wonder how Link can take out his sword in one fair swipe. Surely, cos it's so big and all, he'd have to take it out in 2 steps :S

And yeah, it's crazy that characters just get weapons out of nowhere. If links iron boots were that immobile, how does he carry them around?
With his magic arse pocket:heh: If you watch; it's where he pulls everything from.

Leon in Resi4 also has one in which he keeps his suitcase thing; I mean; he NEVER carries it in his hands, I reckon he needs a bigger one to keep things in so that all his items don't get jumbled and lost in his arse pocket, which is larger than average due to his homosexual tendancies.

[EchoDesiato]

Oh, in FPS games: how the fuck is it possible to climb a ladder while both hands are holding a big ass gun?!

[Jonnas]

Oh, in FPS games: how the fuck is it possible to climb a ladder while both hands are holding a big ass gun?!

That's easy, they must use their mouth. :p

[Ashley]

Going into a strangers house and talking to them is perfectly acceptable.

[chairdriver]

Making a pact with a talking horse spirit is everyday behaviour.

[Supergrunch]

In RPGs: NPCs say utterly, utterly random things. For example, there is a woman in Skies of Arcadia who says "I have one teapot made of gold, and one made of silver."

And a more general point related to jumping, especially in platformers. How the hell can people move around in the air while in the middle of a jump?

[Chris the great]

one man is better then an army.

metal bra/thong armour is as good as a full suit.

a fish bowl alows you to breath in space.

the higher your military rank, the more bullets to the face it takes to kill you.

[Jonnas]

In RPGs: NPCs say utterly, utterly random things. For example, there is a woman in Skies of Arcadia who says "I have one teapot made of gold, and one made of silver."

And a more general point related to jumping, especially in platformers. How the hell can people move around in the air while in the middle of a jump?

How the hell can people jump twice their height without getting tired or straining something? They must be tremendous athletes.

And wasn't it a toilet?

[Supergrunch]

And wasn't it a toilet?
Dammit, I don't have the game with me to check. I remember where it was from - when you go to the rich part of Valua for the first time, just before Galcian chases you along the roof of the train.

[Chris the great]

its a gold toilet, they want a silver sink or bathtub to match.
replayed over summer, so its fairly fresh in my mind.

[Mokong X-C]

It is possible to go on a grand adventure, meet many different people, defeat many monsters and save the world... all without saying a word other than the ocassional grunt/moan/scream

[Dog-amoto]

As seems to be the trend with shooters nowadays:

Several shotgun rounds to the chest can be cured in less than 5 seconds, with no medical attention needed. Providing you don't get shot again in the interim.

[Mundi]

It´s pretty normal for a group of 14-16 year olds who have spent a couple of months adventuring to be able to defeat high ranking soldiers that have spent years fighting with ease!

[EEVILMURRAY]

If you stop in midair, you can spin foward, now you can drop to the floor with fatal speed. Also good for saving you from dying from large heights.

[Mundi]

It´s more effective to beat another person with the back of your gun then shooting them with it.

[Shorty]

How did the first gym leader get to be a gym leader with a lvl 12 geodude?

[Jonnas]

Why do almost every Pokémon Trainer always have less than 6 pokémon?
And many times they're just a couple of Rattatas or 3 Magikarps.
Yet, they think they can beat anybody...

[Ashley]

How did the first gym leader get to be a gym leader with a lvl 12 geodude?

They slept their way there?

And not really what you're looking for but just a general thought; what the hell did those turtle things to cause Mario to hate them so much. They just walk around and he feels the need to boot them out of their shell.

[Jordan]

"Turtle things"?
You call yourself a gamer Ashley? :p

They're called Koopa Troopa's and Paratroopa's.

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/1/11/Koopa_Troopa.JPG

http://pressthebuttons.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/paratroopa.jpg

[Ashley]

I only just woke up. :p

[firthy1991]

Masterchiefs 3.5 ton armour yet he lightly floats down when he falls off the map :)

[Mr_Odwin]

Masterchiefs 3.5 ton armour yet he lightly floats down when he falls off the map :)

Velocity of falling doesn't relate to the mass of an object. Everything falls at the same rate.

[firthy1991]

Velocity of falling doesn't relate to the mass of an object. Everything falls at the same rate.

calm down dear it's a forum post:heh:

[Jordan]

Velocity of falling doesn't relate to the mass of an object. Everything falls at the same rate.

Odwin ownage :O

[Oxigen_Waste]

Velocity of falling doesn't relate to the mass of an object. Everything falls at the same rate.

Is it? Didn't know that one. Isn't there a higher acceleration in the fall if the mass is bigger? :wtf: ( I'm not trying to be Mr. Smarty pants, I'm really just asking).

[Jonnas]

Is it? Didn't know that one. Isn't there a higher acceleration in the fall if the mass is bigger? :wtf: ( I'm not trying to be Mr. Smarty pants, I'm really just asking).

Nope. The falling speed depends mainly on the resistance to wind.

The reason why parachutes and feathers fall at a slower rate than bricks it's because of parachutes and feathers are highly affected by the wind currents.

[Oxigen_Waste]

Nope. The falling speed depends mainly on the resistance to wind.

The reason why parachutes and feathers fall at a slower rate than bricks it's because of parachutes and feathers are highly affected by the wind currents.

That much is obvious since they are resisiting to the wind's flow.

About every other thing, it does make sense, gravitational pull is the same for everything, afterall.

[MoogleViper]

Weight doesn't have any affect on gravity but density does to wind resistance.

Wind is the reason you can double jump, change direction in midair etc. If you people actually went out and practiced you would be able to as well.

RPGs perfectly reflect real life. God knows that everyone I speak to constantly repeat the same thing. And time will not progress unless I speak to the correct person or use the correct object.

And for your information I encounter hundreds of crates and barrels everyday. Where do you think I got all of my clothes?

And I can go and defeat monsters and get stronger whilst everyone else remains the same. Why? Because they aren't hardworking enough.

Sometimes I wonder where you people live?

[Stefkov]

Courting a woman only takes giving her flowers found in the forest round the corner.
Asking the woman to marry you only requires you to befriend some mini sprite people to give you a blue feather to give to her.
Crops can take only 3 days to grow fully, enough to sell on.
The local mine has hundreds of gems and emeralds etc, ready to be found by a single farmer.
Cows can produce gold milk if given a lot of love, and sheep the same with their wool.
And many more farming ones.

[Shino]

Someone's been playing Harvest Moon.

[Charlie]

Velocity of falling doesn't relate to the mass of an object. Everything falls at the same rate.

Only word to describe that is... TOUCHE!

[MoogleViper]

Some women can also be courted with strange items found in said mine. That's how I got my girlfriend. We can learn a lot from games. Life is so great.

*reality slowly comes back to me*

:(

[Tellyn]

It is possible to execute a second jump in mid-jump.

[Zell]

During the course of the entire game, your hero does not feel the need to sleep, eat or go to the toilet.

[MadDog]

GTA:San Andreas where he pulls out a mini gun, rocket laucher and then a AK-47 all from his back pocket

[Stefkov]

Someone's been playing Harvest Moon.
I <3 Harvest Moon.


Collecting small floating orbs will grant you the ability to jump 30 metres into the air.
Also collecting said orbs will allow a car to stick to walls, a car to flip 3 times in the air, another car to travel at 100mph and go under and destroy any other car.
There's always an option to bring back all the gang members you killed, just to kill them some more.

[Sanchez]

You can always take more bullets than your enemies.

[triforcemario]

You can go walking around the streets with any weapon, in front of police, and they won't arrest you. Ever... as long as you don't use them.

[Goron_3]

In phoenix wright, the prosecutor will go 'i have another witness who proves your client did it' and that person is ALWAYS the murderer (don't care though, the games rock).

[EEVILMURRAY]

The fate of the world can be decided with the outcome of a children's card game.

[Mokong X-C]

Sometimes by the time you reach the final boss, the hero has a revelation that if he never did anything nothing bad would have ever happened.

As for the double jump thing, well in the Metroid games it's perfectly plausable, Samus can do a 2nd jump in air thanks to some little booster thrusters in her boots

[Nintendohnut]

People never, ever need to sleep, because days only last 45 minutes. Apparently.

Oh and Link can sheath his sword without looking and in one smooth movement (after three twirls and an angry/brooding look to the camera)

[EEVILMURRAY]

Having a feather doesn't give you bird-like wings, but a yellow cape.

It also has the the ability to deflect missiles back where they came from.


Read this shit people:

http://tales.namco.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=25243&highlight=unsung

I copied it from NGC awhile back for the Yankyland audience of the Tales forum.

[Stefkov]

You always seem to hold your gun/hand wielding shooter close to your head. Always up, always aiming and you never get tired.
Also you can look down the sights for a whole however many hours you decide to shoot people.

[Supergrunch]

Oh and Link can sheath his sword without looking and in one smooth movement (after three twirls and an angry/brooding look to the camera)
Actually, there's a martial art (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iaido) involving studying how to do that.

[theguyfromspark]

An evil warlord has plans to take over the world from his remote base, instead of the UN sending a coalition of thousands of soldiers from all over the world to this location and obliterate the place, they instead decide to send one guy with a pistol.

[Mundi]

The stranger they dress, the more likely it´s an important character in you life