Pooing (a cry for help)

[Caris]

I aint been in like 3 days, i feel crap.

What can i do to make me go? Orange juice, running?

Anyone know any good secret's to help me, i really feel bad.

Anything :weep:

[Letty]

laxative!!!

[Caris]

Don't have any, i feel physically ill cuase i aint been in so long...

[The Bard]

3 fucking days. Holy shit (pun very much intended), you're a living miracle.

[gaggle64]

Bran flakes, organic yoghurt and fresh vegetables. And see a doctor for petes sake.

[martinist]

colonic irrigation or a chocolate laxative?, a colonic is your best bet probebly

wow some girl is being raped on tv...yeay!

[Stefkov]

Try one of those machines, with a belt on it and it vibrates your stomach. I've only seen it in a film, Blast from the Past. His mother uses it,

[/ nando /]

..get plenty of fibre into your system.. that should hopefully help.. and eat spicy food etc..

[Caris]

I don't need to see a doctor, i just must of ate stuff that bung's you up.

I might just eat laods so it forces it out...

Try one of those machines, with a belt on it and it vibrates your stomach. I've only seen it in a film, Blast from the Past. His mother uses it,

Good idea, i have one under my bed i'll just dig it out and use it!

[Oxigen_Waste]

This... is an AWESOME thread!

[kyletherobot]

take a warm bath to relax and then sit on the toilet and try your hardest to squeeze one out. woo yeah.

[Caris]

I'm actually feeling someting now, it might be all the talk about it.

I hope i go...

[The Bard]

Yeah, I agree with that guy, it's pretty much an issue of dislodging the dam before the floodgates open. I'm going to have that visual stuck in my head for a couple of weeks.

[Shino]

I usually only shit every 3 or 4 days, leaving a brick that's impossible to flush down.

[Ramar]

I tend to get blocked when I go on holiday.

One thing I do not reccomend, that relieved me when I was blocked in paris, was having someone accidently stand on my right bollock.

I'd recommend flat pepsi/cola or get yourself in a brewing position (don't ask).

[kyletherobot]

I usually only shit every 3 or 4 days, leaving a brick impossible to flush down.

rough. my life would be feel incomplete if i didn't take my daily morning shit.

[ThePigMarcher]

I may not have one in the loading bay either , but this thread has made me PMSL , so 1 out of 2 aint bad.

[Zell]

Sit down, arse wide open, on the bog, playing Brain Training. Teh shit is inevitable.

[EEVILMURRAY]

Don't have any, i feel physically ill cuase i aint been in so long...
Then fucking go out and get some!

[Mike]

I always find that Angel Delight milkshake (made with twice the normal amount of milk) works well. Preferably butterscotch flavour.

[4q2]

Scoff a multipack of pepperami firesticks.
By the morning you should have cooked up a great recipe in your stomach for approx. 6-12 hours supply of rusty water.

[rokhed00]

One thing I do not reccomend, that relieved me when I was blocked in paris, was having someone accidently stand on my right bollock.

Accidentally?
Yeah, right.

[/ nando /]

..isn't it awful when you have to go out somewhere really soon and you know before you go out that you're definitely gonna need one.. but it's just not ready before you leave the house and then you don't have a chance to go for several hours..

..awful..

[Caris]

..isn't it awful when you have to go out somewhere really soon and you know before you go out that you're definitely gonna need one.. but it's just not ready before you leave the house and then you don't have a chance to go for several hours..

..awful..

Picture a driving lesson like that last friday!

[|Laguna|]

Eat lots of chewing gum, that's a nice laxative.

Or... maybe a more radical method, but worth a thought nonetheless.

Try and hold the poo in, thus perhaps doing the ole reverse psychology on your body, and then the poo will want to come screaming out of you.

[/ nando /]

Picture a driving lesson like that last friday!

:laughing: that is fantastic (not for you, obviously..)

[Mr. Bananagrabber]

Coffee does it everytime. Drink a lot of it and you'll be searching for a cork to try and get it to stop.

[Hellfire]

Sometimes a week passes before I crap.

[Rummy]

You want to get lots of fibre inside of you, some bran, or a few apples/carrots/cucumbers, maybe take some laxatives(pop to a local chemists). Are you actually consitpated, or have you just not been eating much? I think cranberry juice is supposed to help something too.

Eat lots of chewing gum, that's a nice laxative.

Or... maybe a more radical method, but worth a thought nonetheless.

Try and hold the poo in, thus perhaps doing the ole reverse psychology on your body, and then the poo will want to come screaming out of you.

I loved the image of shit literally coming out screaming, twas brilliant!

[harribo]

Try poking it out.

[Colin]

How often should we shit then?

[Ginger_Chris]

oh i found the answer to this. Buy a packet of those dried apricots, you know those ones that are slightly moist, but the size of dried ones. Yea, I was doing some work and I had a pack I was snacking on, and in less than two hours I'd finished the packet. If they won't help you go, nothing will.

[Letty]

oh i found the answer to this. Buy a packet of those dried apricots, you know those ones that are slightly moist, but the size of dried ones. Yea, I was doing some work and I had a pack I was snacking on, and in less than two hours I'd finished the packet. If they won't help you go, nothing will.

Oh god. This man speaks the truth.

[AeroScap]

A dominos large pizza, some chicken dippers, 1.25L bottle of coke, 2 hour taekwondo session, rice and chilli con-carne with extra chillis and follow that up with 5 cups of coffee.

That what I had today and it wok infortunately a charm!