The Fruit Returns returns

[The Fruit Returns]

Good evening friends The Fruit Returns
We're slammin' it, jammin' it burn baby burn
Y'all must remember me fruity skillz
Rapping it up and giving you frills.
Now me back wit brand new material
Me inspired when me cut da banana in da cereal
So check it out - me new invention
Listen carefully and pay attention
Me welcome yo feedback on da masterpieces
Me iron me shirt its full of creases.

Enjoy.

Cruising cruising in da hood,
Da Fruit returns wit da apple pud
Me travelled afar but now me back
You may remember me skilful raps
Me learnt new tings from foreign land
Beans and berries soaking in da pan,
South equator in da north
Yo got some cherries?- Bring dem forth
Fierce_Link, Gohan are ya'll still here?
Speak up now n' me be happy wit da tears
J'adore les pommes, Bonjour banana
Me like da grape but its no sultana
Til da next time when me passive or bored
Me cut da metal bowl wit da wooden sword.



Peace.

[harribo]

WHAT

THE

FUCK?!?!?!?

[Letty]

Hello .

[McMad]

Errr...........















............... welcome back?

[Shino]

Epic win!!

[Fierce_LiNk]

When I saw you sign up the other day, I laughed. :)

Welcome back, man. Whoever you are. Weird fruit-guy.

[Jordan]

When I saw you sign up the other day, I laughed. :)

Welcome back, man. Whoever you are. Weird fruit-guy.

He's a she apparently.

[Ginger_Chris]

As I haven't been around here that long (relatively), could I possibly get confirmation that fruit-centric rap is an infrequent occurrence.

Welcome to the forums.

Again (possibly)

[Fresh]

Don't we lock welcome threads or is this a special occasion?

[conzer16]

Welcome Ms. Lady Fruit!

[AshMat]

Bitches don't know bout ma FRUIT BOWL.

[harribo]

I bet she ain't as Fresh as your fruit Fresh.

[martinist]

a tallented, well educated female!
quickly! break out your beating sticks!

[Fierce_LiNk]

What the fuck! You're a woman?!!!

Daaaaaaamn.

[AshMat]

A woman you say?

Tits or gtfo

[Fierce_LiNk]

A woman you say?

Tits or gtfo

Don't really care if she is flat chested, I just want more of her sweet rhymes.

[The Fruit Returns]

yo yo yo i aint no man or no lady
me lovin your welcome so give it to me baby

[Aimless]

Fruitilicious. Seriously.

Welcome back to the world of Nintendo,
I didn't think your rhyming would go and end so.
Seems you took a break of the breakfast variety,
But it's good to see you back in the gaming society.

Seems these peeps don't know you but don't worry,
Those who've forgotten will say they're sorry.
Keepin' it fresh, keepin' it real,
For those not in the know here's the deal:
This here's The Fruit Returns rapper extraordinaire;
Vitamin C for your bones and B2 for your hair.

What kind of fruit we just don't know,
But whatever variety it's on with the show.
Apple kiwi banana or orange,
Now we're—

Bugger.

[McMad]

yo yo yo i aint no man or no lady
me lovin your welcome so give it to me baby

Argh! I want to and really don't want to at the same time!

[Ginger_Chris]

Ok, 2 possibilities;

1) Fruit = Female, but has now changed her online gender to male to avoid inundation from the male populace.

2) Fruit = Male, and originally set his gender to female for the attention.

Ok, as Number 1 denotes intelligence, and taking the probabilities of finding an intelligent rapping woman with a taste for fruit on a nintendo website, versus the probability of finding a attention seeking guy on the same website. My money is on Option 2.

Feel free to prove me wrong.

[AshMat]

Me got some ryhmes ta keep ya happy,
don't be a whiner me change ya nappy.
Listen ta dis beat
and it keep ya on ya feet.
Wigga 4 life
I kill you wid a knife.

[Aimless]

Why you be all hung up on gender?
Pack up those thoughts, return to sender.
Man woman or child it don't change a thing,
The Fruit Returns once more to give you the spin.

Kick back relax and remember what they say,
For a healthy diet have 5 portions a day.

[AshMat]

ME so bothered about da gender.
Cause me worried it's a bender.
If it gender of da woman
Get yer tits out for the lads.

[My Buttons are Magic!]

Me got some ryhmes ta keep ya happy,
don't be a whiner me change ya nappy.
Listen ta dis beat
and it keep ya on ya feet.
Wigga 4 life
I kill you wid a knife.


for some reason i was reading that to the rhythms of avril lavigne (ya know the rap section in "girlfriend"?)

[Fierce_LiNk]

Y'all too worried if she's a chick or a dude
Sexual Harassment, you foo's get sued!
Da forum police will be on your tail
Platty and Ashley send you to forum-jail!

Eating the apples, bananas, mangos and prunes
Come on, miss fruity, give us the tunes!

[AshMat]

for some reason i was reading that to the rhythms of avril lavigne (ya know the rap section in "girlfriend"?)

Cause i can, i can do it bet-ter!

[Jordan]

Why you be all hung up on gender?
Pack up those thoughts, return to sender.
Man woman or child it don't change a thing,
The Fruit Returns once more to give you the spin.

Kick back relax and remember what they say,
For a healthy diet have 5 portions a day.

Stop.
Now.
Kthx.

[My Buttons are Magic!]

Cause i can, i can do it bet-ter!

lol.. turns out i know the words...
..to the whole song...

:shakehead

[AshMat]

lol.. turns out i know the words...
..to the whole song...

:shakehead

Oh dear,

oh dear oh dear.

[My Buttons are Magic!]

Oh dear,

oh dear oh dear.

lol.. i was in a car being driving home from the beach and it came on the radio - i sang the whole song - in time and (not) in tune

it was fun

[The Fruit Returns]

i be back with a new rhymey tune tomorrow peeps.

[harribo]

i be back with a new rhymey tune tomorrow peeps.

Who cherishes you on this forum? I don't.

[martinist]

I'm sick of you people rymin'
Your doin' it all the time(in)
If you utter one more syllable
I'm gonna start fuckin' killin' y'all

[Aimless]

Stop.
Now.
Kthx.
You tryin' to stop me by usin' 1337?
For the King of Fun you sure ain't wit' the beat.
'S called getting into the spirit, you know what I mean?
Lookin' at these posts, the pickings are lean.

Flinky boy there has got it down to a tee.
If you don't think it's fun then try it and see.

[4q2]

I applaud your comlexity,
It really is quite quality,
I'd love to rap all day and night,
But I aint too good at rhymin' shite....

[The Fruit Returns]

So long my friends just for tonight
You want mo raps- tommorrow I might
Salut mon frere jadore la pear
Please share the lovin or I'll despair

Good night y'all praise the fruit

[triforcemario]

This is the most awesome introductions thread ever. Period.

[The fish]

This is the most awesome introductions thread ever. Period.

Aye, QFT. :grin:

[Mr. Bananagrabber]

Someday, someone will write an opera about this thread.

[Caris]

Solitanze!

is my bet.

[Blackfox]

Edgeless is the winner thus far!

http://vega.soi.city.ac.uk/~fy709/beijingandlondonolympics/gold-medal.jpg

[killthenet]

What kind of Fruit are you?
Do you grow in a garden. Or abroad? Timbuctu.
Perhaps I'd like to get to know you.
So I can taste your juices. So orange. So new.
So you. With your fruit in the hair and your icy new chair.
How did you end up in my drink?
Was it like... something you think should happen?
Or did you just do it on a whim, like John Hammond improvised in Epham.

See how they run.
Your juices, they flow.
See how they ran.
Your juices. They have go (ed).

[Tellyn]

Is there a gas leak in here?

[Owario]

I'm pretty sure this is exactly what happened the last time Fruit made a thread.

[EEVILMURRAY]

Good evening friends The Fruit Returns
We're slammin' it, jammin' it burn baby burn
I don't remember you, is that cause for concern?
You'll have to be another member I learn.
Y'all must remember me fruity skillz
Rapping it up and giving you frills.
I still don't remember, it don't give me chills
I however, still remember the taste of Holsten Pils.
Now me back wit brand new material
Me inspired when me cut da banana in da cereal
Although your rhymes are quite imperial,
Banana in coco pops is ancient, are you real?
So check it out - me new invention
Listen carefully and pay attention
So where is this thing, in another dimension,
A name so terrible we cannot mention?
Me welcome yo feedback on da masterpieces
Me iron me shirt its full of creases.
A shirt like that makes you look obese,
I think I shall call the fashion police.

" Bo' "

Welcome back apparently.

[Tellyn]

No really, is there a gas leak?

[Dan Dare]

Gas leak you speak?
shit, that weak
I'm bringin it like Ali
so don mess, don be silly
don bring while the chemicals be churnin
an the fruit returns be returnin'

yes blad.

[Shorty]

I can't believe you guys don't remember The Fruit Returns. n00bs.

[Tellyn]

I can't believe you guys don't remember The Fruit Returns. n00bs.

cn i hv fr33 stff plz

[Fresh]

MY Fut iz so fr35H

[Roostophe]

Bollocks to your stupid rhymes
As annoying as fecking wind chimes
They're as ridiculous as street mimes
This is just the sign of the times
I'm now off to report your crimes
'cos they're as bad as the Metroid Primes. ugh!

Just so you know, I don't like limes.

I can't rap.

[Caris]

Yo! Yo! Yo!

Why can't we just drop these lyrics?
You all sound like a load of pilicks
Juse to let you know
I could ryme better than a 10 50cents in a row
But im not gonna do that
Becuase you would have to take off your hat
And Applade the one and only Caris
Damn that n****r aint from Paris
He's from the Ghetto, the Slums
Brought up without a Mum
Living the streetlife
Allways close to his knife
So that raps up this Ryme
I hope you had a good time
See you in another thread
If your not dead.

[Roostophe]

Yo! Yo! Yo!

Why can't we just drop these lyrics?
You all sound like a load of pilicks
Juse to let you know
I could ryme better than a 10 50cents in a row
But im not gonna do that
Becuase you would have to take off your hat
And Applade the one and only Caris
Damn that n****r aint from Paris
He's from the Ghetto, the Slums
Brought up without a Mum
Living the streetlife
Allways close to his knife
So that raps up this Ryme
I hope you had a good time
See you in another thread
If your not dead.

Anyone could rap better than 50 Cent.
Just so you know his name is Darren Bent.

[Tellyn]

There once was a man from Peru
Who dreamed he was eating his shoe
He woke with a fright in the middle of the night
To find that his dream had come true.

Check out my 1337 rap skillxorz.

[Shorty]

Yknow rap is about two things. Rhyme and rhythm. Some of you guys really need to work on the latter :heh:

[Roostophe]

Yknow rap is about two things. Rhyme and rhythm. Some of you guys really need to work on the latter :heh:

You need to work on your spelling of rhythm

Buzz-ing!

See, I owned his little ass.
I learned my rap from the Heroes of Gym Class.

[Shorty]

don't know what u chattin 'bout *whistles*

[Tellyn]

I'm really scared by you guys
Erm...
You scare me more than McDonald's fries
...
The Fruit Returns has spread a disease
Now everyone's rapping like... rabbid fleas


My ears are bleeding when I read that through.

[Roostophe]

don't know what u chattin 'bout *whistles*

Ooh, you fecker. You changed your post.
Now let's meet the host with the most...

Yes, I-I-I-I am running out of rhymes.

[Shorty]

Ooh, you fecker. You changed your post.
Now let's meet the host with the most...

Yes, I-I-I-I am running out of rhymes.
I changed your post too, that's how awesome I am.
You should know by now, a moderator can.
Don't mess with the staff, red and blue.
We'll delete your posts and ban you too.



oh god i actually did it

[Dan Dare]

There once was a man from Peru
Who dreamed he was eating his shoe
He woke with a fright in the middle of the night
To find that his dream had come true.

Check out my 1337 rap skillxorz.

Edward Lear?

[Stefkov]

There once was a man from Nantucket


he died of anal cancer.

Check me skilzzzz

[Tellyn]

Edward Lear?

SpongeBob SquarePants.

[EEVILMURRAY]

There once was a man from Nantucket


he died of anal cancer.

Check me skilzzzz

Genius, that got quite the chuckle from me. I'm saving that for future use.

[Ginger_Chris]

You're all insane.

[Tellyn]

You're all insane.

There once was a man named Chris
Who gave everybody the diss (?)
Fruit Returns hunted him down
With a mercenary clown
And that was the end of Chris

[killthenet]

Good heavens, they're rhyming in sevens.
Good heavens, good news on the way.
Good heavens, we're going to be tired.
Good ridance to sleep, I say.

[The Fruit Returns]

Yo yo yo The Fruit is here
Bow before me show da rear
Beat da Bongo like orangatang
Apples r ma favourite ringa dang dang
Y'all may be wondering y come back now?
Me was told to advise yo on healthy bowels
Don't be shy we all get da constipation
Prunes r da bomb - Just fo yo information
Today me sad da apple rotted
Me feel da pain da heart was clotted
Tu mange les pettit mango?
Me know wot yo finkin yo prefer da nando
Me so happy me reunited wit ma mate Fierce Link
Me blushin like banana me turned real pink
Fresh Fruit me like u but remember this
Me woz ere first so please don't diss
The Villan me likin yo rappin stylee
Me happy to inspire yo me singing wit glee
But remember dis -don't get in da mood
Respeck ma talent and don't be rude!
Till da next time when me get mo requests
Me flap away like some chicken breast.

Peace

[Stefkov]

There once was a man from Jerusalem
He went to the...what rhymes with Jerusalem....hmm. Sod it
he died of AIDS.
There you happy now, that was the climax...

[martinist]

I'm gonna gash and stab and slash
I'm gonna cut into the hole in your ass
See the Blood on the walls
Play tennis with your balls

[Tellyn]

There once was a man called Jack Bauer
Who claimed he had godly power
Terrorists defied him
One by one they lost their limbs
And that was their final hour

[triforce_keeper]

O

M

G

1 question. WHAT, THE, FOOK?

[Whizkid]

The fruit returns raps are crap
now im wearing a top hat
i hate this thread
no im going to eat bread

[|Laguna|]

Just leave it to the professionals yeah guys.

[N: Yea, yeah, we're gonna bring it down like this, y'all!
I'm gonna let my man Parappa know that noodles rule the world!
Yea, that little slippery thing that tastes so good all the time,
Yea, yea, that's right,
It goes a little something like this, stay with me now, here we go..

In parenthesis let me stress the fact clearly,
No matter what the deal I crave for this dearly.
The so-called noodles that you find in spaghetti,
Are sweeter than idols, do damage like machetes!
Without a doubt I got the flow, coming at ya live,
Bring the place alive, every single day I jive,
With the thought comes my direct actions,
Ask my followers, they'll say it's an addiction.]

N: Slurp it, suck it, I know you all like it.
P: Slurp it, suck it, I know you all like it.
N: Smell it, taste it, pasta in a market!
P: Smell it, taste it, fruit in a basket!
N: Chinese, Italian, Thai or Jamaican,
P: Mexican, Egyptian, English, Korean,
N: Anything goes, even Hawaiian!
P: Anything goes, even Alaskan!

[Long and chewy, occasionally gooey,
The best things in life taste good like chop suey,
8 minutes to boil and 2 minutes to eat,
Admit it kid, you know noodles can't be beat!]

N: Roll it on your spoon, create your own boon!
P: Roll it on my spoon, create my own boon!
N: I betcha didn't know, noodles the rules!
P: I betcha didn't know, there *are* no rules!
N: Sushi, burgers - they all taste good..
P: Pizza, burritos, they all taste good.
N: .. as long as they got noodles, the king of all foods!
P: .. as long as they love food, then anything's cool!

[Hip hop music with an old school twist,
I keep the place intact and do a rap like this.
You can use a spoon, fork, knife, or even chopsticks,
Come on kid, get down with the mix.]

N: N, double O, D, L, E, S!
P: C, double O, K, I, E, S!
N: Great tasting pasta, blow to your chest!
P: Great tasting sweets, blow to my chest!
N: Ramen, udon, soba, you name it,
P: Brownies, a pie, a shake, you name it,
N: Any type of noodles you like, yes I got it!
P: Any type of sweets you like, yes I got it!

[Whatever your thoughts may be, I'm bound to be,
The king of all foods with my noodles as the key.
Full of pride and glory, way up above,
'Cos here I come y'all, full of noodles and love.]

N: Noodles are the best, no doubt, can't deny, tastes better than water,
but don't ask me why!
P: Noodles are the best, no doubt, can't deny - but better than water!?,
don't ask you why.
N: But then again, many things can be tasty - corn bread, potatoes, rice
and even pastries.
P: But then again, many things can be tasty - corn bread, potatoes, rice
and even pastries.
N: Then why *do* I love noodles so dearly? It makes no sense, I must've
sounded real eerie!
P: Then why do you love noodles so dearly? It makes no sense, you must've
sounded real eerie.
N: Thanks brother, for letting me understand, that a man must understand
to keep his options open.
P: Welcome brother, for letting you understand, that a man must understand
to keep his options open.

[MoogleViper]

Why don't you all just shut the fuck up?
Now I'm gonna go and shag a duck.

I win. End of.

[harribo]

Why don't you all just shut the fuck up?
Now I'm gonna go and shag a duck.

I win. End of.

Shag a duck?
What the fuck?
That must be one feathery situation
Now to get back to some serious masturba....

[MoogleViper]

Shag a duck?
What the fuck?
That must be one feathery situation
Now to get back to some serious masturba....

Rapping about masturbation. +1 respect point.

[Fresh]

What the hell is going on in this thread?
I might go and give Takeo some head.
All wi...all wi...... Ah fuck rhyming.

[BeerMonkey]

oh no a random poem here and there w00p de fuking doo leave and dont come bak

[Fierce_LiNk]

Ok, guys. I shall be locking this now. We've all had our fun, now lets leave this in peace, eh?

FruityMcFruitFruit, welcome back. You shall have to use your rhymes in everyday forum posts. Keep on rappin' baby.

This thread will be locked in-

10
Nine.
Eight
7
Six
Five
4
...alright, I'll lock it already.