What women really mean when they say...

[ViPeR]

...I really like you but i'm confused right now. Basically translates to, get lost I don't want to be with you.

Me and Fierce_link thought there should be an official dictionary of things women say and what they actually mean. It'd make things a hell of a lot simpler. I'm sure we're not the only ones.

[Fierce_LiNk]

Yes, I forced him to make this thread. Someday you'll thank me for this, joe.

Women Say: I'll always love you
Women Mean: ...until I find the next bloke.

Women Say: I like you, but as a friend.
Women Mean: You're ok, but I don't have a high enough opinion of you to shag you.

[My Buttons are Magic!]

... when i walk off .. and say leave me alone / i dont want to talk = what i really want it for my boyfriend to come up behind me and give me a huge hug...

im fine = im bloody well not

Yes, I forced him to make this thread. Someday you'll thank me for this, joe.

Women Say: I'll always love you
Women Mean: ...until I find the next bloke.



not all woman

[/ nando /]

In my opinion you couldn't make a dictionary for women. One time something means one thing, the next minute it probably means the opposite.

Remember these words:

YOU CAN'T WIN


I love my girlfriend lots, though... these are for you xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[Stocka]

I approve of this thread, providing the stuff is all in fact accurate (which I doubt)

Women Say: I like you, but as a friend.
Women Mean: You're ok, but I don't have a high enough opinion of you to shag you.
That's my line.

[Fierce_LiNk]

I approve of this thread, providing the stuff is all in fact accurate (which I doubt)


That's my line.

Trust, almost all of these I've heard at one point or another. E.g. a girl has said to me.

This one is from Friends.

Ross: I love you.
Mona: Awww...and I love spending time with you.

Translation: You're nice, but it won't last! Not another minute!

[Ginger_Chris]

"Does my bum look big in this" = "compliment me"

"Does this necklace go with my bracelet" = "compliment me"

"Do you like my new top" = "you obviously didn't notice because you didn't compliment me. Now compliment me"

"Hey how you doing" = "I don't care how your doing, I want to initiate a conversation where you compliment me"

etc

[Aimless]

This is the most cynical thread since that used for a certain emperor's new wardrobe.

[/ nando /]

"Does my bum look big in this" = "compliment me"

"Does this necklace go with my bracelet" = "compliment me"

"Do you like my new top" = "you obviously didn't notice because you didn't compliment me. Now compliment me"

"Hey how you doing" = "I don't care how your doing, I want to initiate a conversation where you compliment me"

etc

lmao

..just.. lmao :bouncy:

[Fierce_LiNk]

This is the most cynical thread since that used for a certain emperor's new wardrobe.

It probably is, but:

"Does my bum look big in this" = "compliment me"

"Does this necklace go with my bracelet" = "compliment me"

"Do you like my new top" = "you obviously didn't notice because you didn't compliment me. Now compliment me"

"Hey how you doing" = "I don't care how your doing, I want to initiate a conversation where you compliment me"

etc

How can you argue with that?! It sounds ridiculous, but....god damn, very truthful.

[Slaggis]

i'm only 15, so i havn't exactly had that much experience with the ladies (lol)
But not all woman are like that, some, of course, are. But at least give some of them credit, comon

[Ginger_Chris]

i'm only 15, so i havn't exactly had that much experience with the ladies (lol)
But not all woman are like that, some, of course, are. But at least give some of them credit, comon

See, like you said you've not had that much experience. As you get older you'll get more cynical, and closer to reality.

[Fierce_LiNk]

See, like you said you've not had that much experience. As you get older you'll get more cynical, and closer to reality.

That's how I feel, as well.

Of course, there's some really awesome girls out there as well, and they're probably all being snapped up as we speak! :(

Women Say/Ask: Am I fat/Do I look fat in this?

Women Mean: For your sake, and your sake alone, compliment me on my amazing physiche. That's if you ever want sex, again.

[Ginger_Chris]

If a girl asks "Do I look fat in this?" UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES answer this with "no, your fat makes you look fat".

Just a tip.

[Dan Dare]

Under no circumstances should skinny boys ever, ever, ever mention how little they weigh. ever. Just don't temp fate you crazy bastards.

[thirtynine.]

I dont want to have sex right now. = I dont want to have sex right now.

[weeyellowbloke]

One I got told today: "You're really weird, it makes me laugh", I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or not. I think when translated into male language it might mean something along the lines of "I like you, but I also really don't understand you".

[Caris]

Your cute.

Translation: I wouldnt' go near him with a stick.

[killthenet]

My zip got caught in the till.

Translation: My zip got caught in the till.

[AshMat]

i'm only 15, so i havn't exactly had that much experience with the ladies (lol)
But not all woman are like that, some, of course, are. But at least give some of them credit, comon

I'm 15 and it's safe to say i've heard many of these already.

For example:

I just like you as a friend - I don't like you
I'm not looking for a boyfriend - I don't like you
I like [name here], sorry - I don't like you

It goes on but that's off the top of my head.

In my experience, girls make some fucking annoying excuses, rather than just "I'm sorry, i don't like you" or anything else.

[Eddage]

If a girl asks "Do I look fat in this?" UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES answer this with "no, your fat makes you look fat".

Just a tip.

Or "sorry, I can't see you're blocking out the light"

[DanielTimothy]

These are all negative, I mean, it isn't all knockbacks.

Dan Dare is right, infact avoid the weight subject like AIDS.

[Dan Dare]

I once got told that I 'dance funny'. Really not sure if that was a compliment but my dancing is something to behold, so I took it as one and jazzed off into the night ;)

[Cube]

Your cute.

Translation: I wouldnt' go near him with a stick.

That actually explains an awful lot.....

....darn.

[Goron_3]

Women say: God that what so good!

Women mean: God damn it, why do i keep having to fake it...

I don't know this personally but we all know it's true.

[Ollie]

"it's not you it's me" translates in to "there isn't anything wrong with me, I just don't fancy you!"

[Fierce_LiNk]

Haha, where are all the cynics now? :heh:

Honestly, I'll be surprised if some of you have not even heard one of these things before. The "it's not you, it's me" line is universal.

[immy]

"it's not you it's me"

I'v heard that one enough :sad:

[MoogleViper]

One my friend says every morning:

"My hairs a right mess today."

Translates to, "Compliment my hair."

[AshMat]

I've heard the "It's not you, it's me" line. But the other way round, and i said it. This girl i went out with, total mental idiot, emo crazy

"Look, it's not me, it's you".

It was classic.

[Fierce_LiNk]

I've heard the "It's not you, it's me" line. But the other way round, and i said it. This girl i went out with, total mental idiot, emo crazy

"Look, it's not me, it's you".

It was classic.

Man, you have gone up about a million notches in my respect-o-meter.

Some people need to be told like it is. Well done.

[Fresh]

I like the classic.

"I'm pregnant"

which translates to:

"You have no self control do you? You sick little pervert!"

[Goron_3]

If a girl ever says 'Look, you're a man, I'm a women; we're just two different people' to me, i'll shoot myself.

[Kurtle Squad]

I dont want to have sex right now. = I dont want to have sex right now.

HAHAHAHAHA; Yep.

[EEVILMURRAY]

Man: How are you?
Woman: Meh.

This is one of those "Waste the next 3 hours complimenting me or I'll punish you" bullshit things. One of my ex's kept trying this over Msn saying that my TLC is the only cure. So I went downtown on her ass, sending her on a guilt trip about "Isn't the love I give you enough?"

[Demuwan]

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one. Hit Me!

[MoogleViper]

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PERVERT!!!"

Translates to:

"I want to have sex with you so much."

The court didn't agree.

[Woz]

^
That's just not right

[Jordan]

The funny thing is, this is so damn true in so many cases.
I've met very few honest and geniune females in my time, thankfully Letty (apart from a couple of times ie: leave me alone = looove meeeee....!) is very truthful to me.

[Fierce_LiNk]

Men, use this thread as your bible. You're gonna need it!

[Ginger_Chris]

The funny thing is, this is so damn true in so many cases.
I've met very few honest and geniune females in my time, thankfully Letty (apart from a couple of times ie: leave me alone = looove meeeee....!) is very truthful to me.

The first time I read that I'm sure it didn't have the bracketed part

[gmac]

The Men's Guide to What Women Really Mean By...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At long last... The Men's Guide to what a woman really means when she says something. Pay close attention


You want
= You want

We need
= I want

It's your decision
= The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want
= You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk
= I need to complain

Sure... go ahead
= I don't want you to.

I'm not upset
= Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly
= You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight.
= Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!
= I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights.
= I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient
= I want a new house.

I want new curtains
= and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

I need wedding shoes
= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Hang the picture there
= NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise
= I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me?
= I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me?
= I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute.
= Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat?
= Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate.
= Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!?
= [Too late, you're dead.]

Yes
= No

No
= No

Maybe
= No

I'm sorry.
= You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe?
= It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

Was that the baby?
= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling!
= Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

All we're going to buy is a soap dish
= It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
(The answer to "What's wrong?")

The same old thing
= Nothing

Nothing
= Everything

Everything
= My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really
= It's just that you're such an jerk

I don't want to talk about it
= Go away, I'm still building up steam



think that covers most things :D

[My Buttons are Magic!]

I need wedding shoes
= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.



had a chuckle at that one

[Blackfox]

We need to talk
= I need to complain



In the past, this usually means "omg, we're breaking up!!"

[killthenet]

"You are an asshole"

Means... "Fuck me til' my brains fall out of my puke hole, then fuck those brains and shove them into my vagina, thus making me cum like a complete fruit. Then follow that by surgically re-attatching my brain to my skull, and return to fucking my brains in."

[Fierce_LiNk]

It's your decision
= The correct decision should be obvious by now.

I'm not upset
= Of course I'm upset, you moron!

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!
= I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights.
= I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient
= I want a new house.

Do you love me?
= I'm going to ask for something expensive.

Is my butt fat?
= Tell me I'm beautiful.

Yes
= No

No
= No

Maybe
= No

I'm sorry.
= You'll be sorry.




I liked these ones the best. :D

Good list, I thought.

[killthenet]

"Keep it in the family or I'll punch you in your hardened crotch"

Means... "Piece it together and I'll show you how it is. My beef is nicer than Alan Alda with near-sighted glasses. Previn. Previn, you like slop. Like another ten times to get what y'all want. Tomato."